This happens to me a lot. I have so many bloggy thoughts lingering around in my head, that I don't actually sit down and write any of them, so eventually the blogging part of my brain gets so full it bursts, and this blog-brain-spatter is what results. Welcome to my brain barf.
Yesterday, I was thinking all sorts of profound thoughts - about random acts of kindness and the good in the world and so on and so forth, and no, I am not any more hormonal than usual. It was a rough week, though, because we are stretching paychecks more than ever right now, and pay-day Friday seemed to take forever to come, and even then promised little relief. So yesterday found me with a three and five year old in tow (such is the life of a childcare provider - you go nowhere without children in tow, even if you don't actually own any) at the grocery store, scrounging, literally piecing together enough money to buy something we needed.
As I assembled a variety of nickels, dimes and pennies (I seriously wish I was kidding), the older man behind me noticed my predicament, and insisted to both me and the clerk at the counter on paying for my item. After the initial moment of shock in which I didn't even know what to say, I tried to protest, but it was clear the kind gentleman would be hearing none of it and I'd just end up holding up the line. So instead of continuing to protest, I stammered out an "Are you sure?" and then a "Thank you so much"... my emotions caught somewhere between embarrassed by accepting the gesture (I don't know why, apparently some people are super gracious about this, but somewhere in my 23 years of life, I grew accustomed to feeling uncomfortable accepting gifts, particularly in certain circumstances, like, in the grocery store, from strangers.) and stumbling over myself with gratitude. I made my way out of the store with the kids and my purchase (gift?) with another grateful thank you to the kind man, and walked out to the car, thoughts preoccupied with the random act of kindness I had just been shown.
If you're living in the same world as I am, it hasn't exactly been a cornucopia of human kindness lately. A couple weeks ago, we were pretty much ready to tear each other limb from limb over a presidential election that cost billions of dollars (which I couldn't help but think could've been used to fund hundreds and hundreds of adoptions, or take care of that national deficit or that healthcare crisis they're always talking about, but what do I know about politics?). All you have to do is dare to go out on the roads during certain hours of the day, and you're certain to be rudely cut off and/or gestured at by other irate motorists. Facebook feeds are exploding with news about tragedies, scandals, and heartbreak around the world (including my own - yes, I do realize how often I post about orphans, and no, I'm not sorry). But I think my point is sufficiently clear. We are not often reminded of the good in the world these days...
especially not not even with holidays like, you know, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, coming up.
So, yeah. It was nice that I saved the few dollars I was trying to piece together for something else (which wound up being gas, which I very nearly ran out of)... but it was even nicer to be reminded that there are people in the world who wake up and go out every day with kindness in their hearts and a goal of making things just a little bit easier, just a little bit happier, for other people. It made me think that random acts of kindness are really truly something amazing, and that we should all practice (and thus receive) more of them.
Sometimes people, like myself, realize that they haven't been practicing random acts of kindness, because they're not really sure what acts to perform. We don't exactly think that way in this day and age - the me, me, me age - "What can I do for someone else today?". But if you sit down and think about it... the answers are right there in front of you every single day, just as much as the negativity is.
There they are.
The other day, my sweet angel tree boy, Elden, had $27 donated to him during angel tree, because someone had bought his ornament. Not even me, I couldn't afford it yet. I need to save up. Then, one day, I checked - and it read $28.
One dollar.
Somebody put one dollar in his account. In fact, from the looks of things, somebody put one dollar in the accounts of several angel tree children that day.
That's not one random act of kindness... it's a million. I can't even count that high. Every advocate cheering those kids on smiles to see that one more dollar added to their grant. Every family who is considering adoption and worried about finances will be heartened by the idea that people give out of the very little they may have. Most importantly, every CENT gets these kids a little bit closer to finding and being HOME with their forever families. Because they need two things. They need funds, and exposure. Exposure, obviously so that their families can see them. But sometimes, even when their families see them, they are reluctant. They are worried, and rightfully so. Adoption isn't something to jump into. But it breaks my heart when the reason, the only reason, they are worried, is money. Here are people with the heart and will to bring kids home, kids who need homes, and the only reason these two complimentary goals cannot be brought together, is MONEY. So yeah. Raising the kids' grants matters. It tells those potential adoptive parents, 'someone cares about this child. We won't be on our own.'
I don't know about you, but I'm going to start looking for more ways to work random acts of kindness into my life. Obviously I'm living on a shoestring budget right now, so it won't be financial, but I'm going to make a conscious effort to do something. And someday, I hope I'll have the financial means to be one of the people who makes the day of Christmas Warriors everywhere by adding just a little bit to that sweet child's grant.
I'm truly not kidding. I've known people who've broken down and cried over one dollar added to their family, or the child of their heart's grant accounts. Because it's not just a dollar, it's a person who sees, hears, and cares... and that means so much to someone who love these kids... someone like me.
It's not what you do... it's that you care enough to do it.
Now, wouldn't that have made a really nice, neat blog post yesterday? All on one subject and everything, I could've given the post an actual title, something that gave the reader an idea what it was about? But alas... I didn't post it yesterday... because yesterday, a million other things were also running through my head. Faces of children I wanted to share. Families who are on my heart. Intentions I've had to write other blog posts. Frustration from feeling at a stalemate with Angel Tree - I have a couple things planned but I'm not as far along on actually making them happen as I would have hoped. How could I write a post about random acts of kindness and all those profound thoughts sloshing around in my head when people, lives, were sloshing around in there too, needing exposure, needing someone to shout for them?
So I posted nothing.
Which is why today, you get a few paragraphs of what would've been a nice, succinct post yesterday, plus the rest of my brain bile that exploded out with it. Congratulations, if all that philosophical babble distracted you from the 'brain vomit' imagery long enough to get to the next mention.
FAMILIES.
I hate seeing families struggle. This is no secret, obviously. But sometimes there are so many of them on my heart that I feel like I can't do any of them justice. I've been meaning for a long time to write a post about what you can do to help... because I wrote a post about why you should care, and having been in the uncomfortable limbo of realizing I care but not knowing what to do about it, I feel like I owe you that other post (if anyone is actually reading this blog... apparently I have nine followers... the most hits I ever got was when I got hit by a troll. Thanks again, Janie or Janet or Janine or whatever your name was). Yet, it's been so hard to write, because every time I work on it or even think about working on it, I want to share a hundred different auctions, giveaways, FSPs, children, matching grants, blogs... and then I'm petrified that I'll leave someone out who I meant to include, so I leave the post sit for a few days until some of the information is outdated. Obviously this is not helping anyone, so that post is coming and will probably be amended several times to add families and links... but until then... here's my unedited prayer list. Nothing is even a link, because that takes so much effort, copying and pasting (yes, I realize how lazy that makes me sound, but I am multitasking here - I am watching four children while I type this!) and I'll just give up before I actually finish the post again. You can search most, if not all of these names on Reece's Rainbow and find the sweeties I'm referring to.
Elden, my AT boy
Brett #19-1, my friend's AT boy whom I love very much.
Alexei, another AT boy who we just found out was transferred to a notoriously dreadful institution.
Kolya #7-2, another older boy in Brett's country who seems too often overlooked, is malnourished and whose profile hasn't been updated in a long time.
Amelia Brown, who is in the hospital right now, still struggling with issues rooted in spending her first twelve years of life in a now-infamous orphanage.
The Earleywines, who are just starting their adoption journey and struggling to raise funds, and I lack the funds or means to encourage them the way I want to.
The Unroes, who are on their way back to 'The Bad Place' for three more children after returning home just a few months ago with five from the same country!
The Rosencrants, whose two girls are very medically fragile and need to come home ASAP. One of them has just been hospitalized in her country.
The Menges, who, with their 'gotcha' trip looming on the horizon, just realized that they were not, as formerly thought, fully funded.
The Morses (that sounds weird) who are FINALLY about to bring their daughter home from what I'm pretty sure classifies as National Lampoon's Adoption Adventure... only significantly less funny.
The Hortons, who are likely traveling now with their very fragile new daughter (picture Katie in her days just post-orphanage).
And the countless non-adoption/RR related prayers on my mind of course, which you won't see here because of their personal nature.
Can you see how that gets a little overwhelming?
If, in the spirit of the earlier portion of this post, you're feeling like contributing a random act of kindness to society, look one of these children or families up on Reece's Rainbow, and make a donation - no matter how small. If you can't, or aren't feeling moved to do so, can I ask that you at least add these few to your prayers? Can I ask that you share their need, this post, anything, so that they might get the help they need? Please?
And right here we're going to semi-awkwardly segue into some more thoughts that exploded out of my brain today (hey, we got through that one without a vomit reference! Oh no, now I ruined it).
Not long ago I posted that as part of my efforts for Angel Tree this year, I'm planning to fully humiliate myself for the amusement of others. When $1,000 is raised between Brett #19 and Elden 14's angel tree funds, I'm shaving off an eyebrow. Just one. At $1,500, I'll shave off the other one (that's a $500 that I'm praying goes by quickly). Once both boys have reached their $1,000 goal, I'll shave my entire head, on video, and post it on this blog, on facebook, you can share it, you can put it on failblog, I don't care. After this announcement a couple people told me I was crazy. Then one mentioned that it was a bit 'dramatic', and I thought, well, dramatic is generally seen as negative in our society, something attributed to teenage girls with raging hormones, so maybe I should be offended... but I wasn't.
Because if dramatic is what it takes to get these boys noticed, dramatic I will be. After all, what's more dramatic than the fact that we are literally trying to save lives here? And yes, I realize that shaving my head isn't going to magically find them families or make people want to donate to them, but I AM hoping it will get them noticed. Let's get one thing straight. I have terrible self esteem. I'm not doing this because I want attention or because I'm spectacular on video or because I know that beneath my insane curly hair, my scalp is magic, and I'm planning to charge people to rub it and see if a genie comes out. I'm doing this because it will turn heads. And yes, that makes me uncomfortable. Insanely uncomfortable. I don't particularly like the way I look on a good day... honestly I have no idea what I'll look like once this is done, it's possible I could resemble Lord Voldemort, only possibly with more nose.
 |
| Credit: Google image |
But you can't honestly say if you saw that walking around, you, or at least your curious toddler, wouldn't ask some questions. At which point you'll be treated to my explanation that my goal is to spread awareness about orphans, especially two particular orphans who are on my heart who also happen to have hair loss, though their is significantly less voluntary than mine. And hopefully you won't be so scarred by my Lord Voldemort-like appearance that you fail to hear said explanation... hopefully. No guarantees.
So for the next month and a half, I babble about how I'm going to shave hair off my cranium when the boys reach important Angel Tree milestones. It is my hope that at very least, my insanity and likely irritating persistence will keep Brett and Elden on people's minds... set them apart from the other starfish washed up on the beach... since they're the ones who got saddled with the mentally unstable advocate after all. I hope that since they're on people's minds, they'll be on people's hearts, and when they're on people's hearts, people will move to help them, donate to them, share them... get them those two things that they desperately need... money and exposure.
Unfortunately, for as long as my blog posts are, I'm not good at babbling consistently so I've decided to try adding something to the drivel. From now until I go bald, I present you with... (Somewhat Less Than Fifty) Shades of Bedhead! No, I'm not reading Fifty Shades of Grey, actually, I'm reading a blog that spoofs it which happens to be hilarious, because, sorry, I just don't find reading books about imaginary characters sexploits fulfilling... so you can blame the blog author for the fact that this ridiculousness is on my mind and worked its way into my blog projects. But I digress, for I have not yet explained the Shades of Bedhead. You see, I've got the most curly hair, and it drives me nuts. I cannot wake up even one single day without looking like squirrels are nesting atop my skull. To avoid people seeing me like this, I usually wear a ponytail... or just don't go out. But since we've already established that I'm willing to debase myself for entertainment, you shall now be presented with one photo of my bedheaded self from every day until I get to shave the pesky mane off. I promise, by the end, you'll be horrified and convinced that it is your civic duty to rid the world of this menace on society. Yup. Dramatic. But dramatic = noticeable and being noticed = working their way up the Angel Tree... and well, that's sort of what I'm going for here. Me and my hair are planning to stay on your mind. Haha, get my pun there? Hair? On your mind? Hahahaha! I'm so uproariously funny.
After The Shaving (hopefully not like The Shining, which its naming reminded me of and I have never actually seen, but my understanding is that it is frightening), it is my hope that I won't have to babble - my mere countenance will inspire questions, and thus the other half of the equation that reflects the boys' needs - exposure. If not, I'm fully prepared to take pictures in the same outfit every day, print them out, and ultimately create a Katie's Hair Grows Back flip book. (Think about it. Wouldn't it be epic? Actually I might just do that anyways, for my own amusement. Told you I was mentally unstable.)
So dramatic? Yup. I'll embrace that title. But drama was effective in middle school... and according to my friend M, who is currently in middle school, it's still kind of a 'thing'... so it must be effective, right? Worth a shot at least. Besides, I've always kind of wondered what my scalp looked like under there. And what are eyebrows for, anyways? They're an extremely odd phenomenon. And insane? Yup, I'll embrace that title too. I mean, come on, my blog is called 'Call Me Crazy' (or, more recently, Crazy: Are We There Yet? - just a division of my journey to crazy) and I just railed on about hair regrowth flip books and the purpose of eyebrows. I think insane is a justified adjective here.
But one label I haven't heard yet?
Determined.
And that's the most important one.
Elden and Brett are coming HOME... even if I have to learn to swallow flaming swords while walking a tightrope to make it happen. (Come on. You have to admit it's a fun mental image... especially given the photo below...)
Bedhead Shade 1
(
