My Heart

My heart just literally broke.  All over again.  I can't even put into words how I'm feeling right now, but I owe it to two little girls to try anyways.

Remember Annie?  The little girl who was a spitting image of my sweet A?

Left: My A.  Right:  "Annie #40-4"

Annie has been transferred to a mental institution.  She is eight and a half.  Just barely younger than my dear A was when I said goodbye to her two years ago.

My A was one of the strongest people I ever met.  She had more courage in her pinky finger than men four times her age and ten times her size.  She faced seemingly insurmountable obstacles and still managed to find joy in every place she went.  When she loved, she loved fiercely, determinedly, loyally.  When she hurt, she tried to hold it in... but eventually she started letting me be there for her... and every time she broke down in my arms, I broke down just as much or more on the inside.  When she hurt, I hurt with her.  I still hurt with her.

I couldn't help A.  She told me a terrible secret, and I promised to try to help.  I did what I thought was the right thing.  Even when that failed, I kept trying until my options were exhausted.  In the end, there was nothing I could do to help her, and that tears me to shreds to this day.

We can still help Annie.

She can be adopted.  Loved.  Treasured.  Comforted.  Just like my A was in the days she spent with me.

But she needs US.  She needs us to share her photo, her story - so that her family might see her and move to bring her home.  She needs us to help raise the funds to ransom her from the mental institution where she will spend the rest of her life if not adopted.  She needs us to storm Heaven on her behalf.

It's 5:00 am and I'm lying in a hospital bed, unable to sleep, crying both for my little girl and for a little girl halfway across the world who I have never met.  I feel like I've failed them both.  I tried to advocate for both of them.  I prayed for both of them.  I swore I would help both of them.  And I thought, for a while, that at least I would be able to help Annie in honor of my A.  I tried.  But it wasn't enough.

Maybe if I had screamed louder, prayed more, worked harder, the family that committed to Annie wouldn't have suffered the financial troubles that caused them to have to release her.  Maybe if I had done more, she wouldn't be sitting in a mental institution right now.

I failed A.  I have to live with that guilt for the rest of my life.  I can't live with the guilt of having failed Annie too.

Transferred.  To a mental institution.

Please help me help her.  Please share her.  Donate to her grant if you can.  I'm begging you.  Since I was admitted to the hospital yesterday everyone has asked me what they could do, and this is it.  Share Annie.  Share this post.  Donate to her grant.  Order a bracelet from my facebook shop so that I can donate to Annie.  Just help me get her home.  That's all I want.

http://reecesrainbow.org/14083/annie-40-4

Need to Start Fresh

Those of you who are still reading (or would be if there were anything here to read) might have noticed my lack of posts recently.  I could say the same things over again... that I've been discouraged, that I've had a lot going on in my life, that I haven't been quite sure what to do with my blog... but you've heard it all already.

One thing that I do need to get out of the way is that Annie, the darling girl I advocated for who is basically my A's doppleganger, had a family, but they were not able to proceed with her adoption.  This is sad news as they very much loved Annie and wanted to bring her home.  But on a positive note, not long after my friend's family discovered they would be unable to proceed with Annie's adoption (due to circumstances beyond their control), they found out they are pregnant after years of infertility!  Your prayers are much appreciated for my friend Amanda and her growing family, as well as for Annie and whomever her family might be - that they will find her and bring her home!

Now, that said, I don't exactly have a specific family to raise funds for right now, so I would like to focus for a while on finding families for a few special kids.  Finding Annie a new family is a priority... she is at a prime age to be adopted and I think she will bring so much joy to a family... but they need to find her before she spends more time in an orphanage, which is no place for a child to grow up.  At any time she could be transferred to a place that does not care for her as well as it seems the current facility does.  I want her family to come for her before that can happen.  Another priority remains finding a family for sweet Brett, who has waited 12 1/2 long years for a mama to call his own.  I do not want to be yelling for that boy at the 11th hour, when he is near aging out.  More and more families are bringing home older children with down syndrome and wondering how they lived so long without them!  Brett's profile states that he is not aggressive and it is believed that he would do wonderfully in a family.  NOW is the time to bring him home... I can't imagine that poor boy having to go through the teen years alone!

Annie

Brett

Besides those two, who are very near and dear to my heart, there are still four children, who are available for adoption (and 3 of whom are listed through Reece's Rainbow), living in the orphanage known as "The Bad Place".  A couple years ago when little Katie Musser came home at 9 years old and 10 pounds, children from that orphanage were being scooped up as quickly as they could be listed.  Everyone wanted to do something for a child like Katie.  But now... where have those people gone?  And so four children, some very able, some very young, all precious and beautiful... continue to wait.  In a place that, despite the improvements the new director has made, no child should be.

These children belong in families.

So for now - I think my focus is going to be less on fundraising and more on finding families.  Once families are found for some of these little ones, I'll be ready and set to do what it takes to help them bring their little ones home.  That doesn't mean I won't occasionally post a link to a fundraiser, or plead on behalf of a family in dire straits - (incidentally, the Harlin family is stuck in limbo in a certain tumultuous Eastern European country right now and stretched very, very thin... they were never completely funded anyways and now the children's father has used up all his paid leave from work due to the delays in country - not to mention that their son Sergei, who they just adopted, is very medically fragile and needs to get to the US for medical care ASAP - but can't, without a stamp from a region that is in complete chaos.  Your prayers, and even donations if you feel so led, are coveted for them.) - but overall, right now, what we NEED is for families to step forward.

Another thing I'd really like to spend some time focusing on in the coming months is the reality of what it is like for orphans with special needs around the world.  I have noticed more and more new people coming 'into the fold' so to speak, learning about the plight of orphans, and I would love to help express to more people what things are really like for these kids.  I will likely be reaching out to friends, maybe even guest bloggers, to assist me with spreading the word.

I can't promise that posts will come at a steady pace right now - there is still a lot going on in my life - but I am going to try to post more regularly.  In the meantime, won't you please join me in prayer, and maybe spread the word, about the needs of Annie and Brett, and for the Harlin family?  Prayers for Ukraine would also be deeply appreciated as this country is dearly loved by many of us in the international adoption community.  What has gone on there is certainly sad, but perhaps even sadder is the humanitarian crisis unfolding as thousands of orphans are now effectively 'stuck' in Crimea as Russia claims it has reabsorbed the territory, thus causing Crimean orphans to fall under the Russian ban of most international adoptions.  For many of these children, international adoption is their only hope, as their special needs render them invalid by their own country.

Innocent casualties of war...

In any case, that's where things stand right now.  I apologize for anyone who was unhappy (or even noticed - I hold no delusions that my blog posts are something magnificent to look forward to) with my absence... I am hoping to do better in the future!  For now though, the best thing any of us can do is PRAY!

Blunt, Honest, Whatever you want to call it

I haven't posted much this season.  That's obvious.

I keep meaning to.  I keep meaning to do all kinds of things.

I posted before that I've been busy, and that's true.  But I realized today that it's not why I haven't been posting.  It's not why I've been quieter than usual on facebook, in groups and on my own page, it's not why I didn't choose my own Angel Tree child this year instead of teaming up with someone else.  Being busy has little, if anything, to do with 'where I've been'.

This is the blunt and honest part.

I'll tell you what DOES have to do with where I've been.

I'm discouraged.  More than discouraged.  I feel sad, depressed and hopeless.  When I think about writing a blog post or launching a fundraiser, the next thought in my mind is "Why bother?"

And I wish I could say I was alone.  Spoken or unspoken, I am not the only advocate who feels this way right now - not to mention the families, trying desperately to raise ransoms for their children.

Christmastime is usually a hot-bed of activity for orphan advocates.  Reece's Rainbow does the Angel Tree.  Everybody has an auction and everyone tries to do their shopping at auctions.  There are daily blog posts trying to get those kids on the bottom tier of the Angel Tree to the next step.  There are people who do their Christmas giving in ways that help families get one step closer to their children.

This year has been different.

Sure, there has been fundraising for Angel Tree... but honestly, when I look at the page it just makes me sad.  Some children have raised thousands in the past six weeks, while others sit with meager amounts barely over two digits.  I'm not saying the advocates for the children who've raised thousands have done anything wrong - in fact, they've done everything right... but Angel Tree has always been a team effort more than anything... and this year I just haven't seen as many people rallying for the kiddos with the least, and I can't help thinking that we could be sharing the wealth more than we are.

There have been families doing auctions, selling items from companies like usborne and thirty-one that make perfect gifts... but instead of doing a brisk Christmas business, this year they've been shouting themselves hoarse to no avail.  Others have given up entirely, preferring to take a break and re-energize their efforts over the holidays.

And there have been advocates, like me... countless advocates... who blog less, shout less, help less, and maybe even pray less... because after watching fundraiser after fundraiser fall flat on its face, we can't honestly imagine how anything we do could make a difference.  How our fundraiser would be any different.  How our blog post would make any more of an impression.  How anyone will notice us screaming when it seems like everyone's got ear plugs in.

But worse, there are the children.  Both children with families coming and those without... it is they who truly suffer when we fall short.

How many times, I ask those of you in the advocacy community, have you or someone else begged, screamed, and shouted for a child to find a family, for just someone to say "yes" to that child?  Even this year with fundraising stalled for many of us, that's one type of post that hasn't decreased in number.  But how can we expect families to step up and offer that "yes" we're so desperately pleading for, if this is how we support them after they do it?  Remember, they're seeing the same things that you're seeing.  Fundraisers fizzling.  Absent advocates.  What used to be a team effort turning into people taking sides over everything.  The ones who HAVE stepped up and said "Yes, we will offer a home to one of the least of these", have not had the kind of support they deserve from the rest of us.  Other potential families SEE that!  They SEE families begging and pleading for every dollar, sometimes right from the start and sometimes right up until they board the plane home.  How can they say "yes" when they know they will likely be signing up for the same sort of stress, the same lack of support, the same frustrations?

We've created a difficult environment in which to have the faith to step out onto the water.

I'm not saying we're doing nothing.  I'm not saying people aren't trying.  They are.  They're trying so hard, in fact, that they're becoming exhausted and disheartened, like I am.  It's not enough to try for 'your' child or your 'favorite' family.  If we all only advocate for ourselves, who then is left to hear our voices?  At one point in the last year I wrote about how touched I was to see a family currently in the process of adopting giving to another adopting family.  It was actually something I saw all the time.  This year, not as much.  So many of us, myself included, have gotten sucked into our own little world, our worries about having enough to support 'our' family or 'our' orphan, that we forget to help others in their efforts.  As if we haven't learned already that when you give selflessly, the Lord multiplies your offering to bless many.  Or maybe we've just forgotten.

This is my call to action.  Tonight, I'm going to STOP focusing so much on what I'm NOT doing for the families I promised to help or the orphans I promised to shout for.  I'm going to look around at everybody else's efforts.  And I'm going to see who I can help... because helping others is the only way I can really expect anybody to help me.  I challenge the rest of you to do the same.  Don't hesitate to give because you're not close with a family, or because you never noticed a child before.  Listen to the cries of the families and warriors, and let your heart tell you where to give.  I promise you, it will be multiplied back upon you.  And above all?  PRAY.  PRAY that the Lord would lift the burdens of those we love.  We have taken too much upon ourselves.  It's time to put things back where they belong: in His hands.

Bigger Plans | Reece's Rainbow Families

A quote from one of my favorite movies is stuck in my head tonight.  One of my favorite quotes, actually.

"Maybe God had a bigger plan for me... than I had for myself."  -- A Walk To Remember

I can't help but think that about 99% of the time, that quote holds true.

Like when I was sixteen years old, and I felt God calling me to go on a mission trip to New Orleans, only eleven months after Katrina devastated the region.

I thought this was the reason I was there.

I had a series of increasingly terrifying panic attacks and wound up flying home early.  Lots of people told me I was failing, letting God down, because I wouldn't be there to clean up that house.  They made the same assumption I had at first.

He wasn't surprised with the way things turned out.

Those people who judged me were wrong and so was I.  God had certainly called me there - just not for the reasons we all thought.  He was not surprised or disappointed when I flew home early.  He knew He had already taught me a valuable lesson.

A lesson that helped lead me here.

God had a bigger plan for me than I had for myself.

I think a lot of times, we think we know what God's plan is, and then He throws us for a loop.

"Nope!  I've got more in store for you!"

This is what happened to my friend Michelle and her husband recently.

God called them to a little girl in a photo.

They leapt with faith, jumped in with both feet, to adopt this little girl... to go retrieve her from a life of institutionalization.

You see, Carolina had been in a baby house with several other children who were adopted by American families.  But as all children do, she got older, and as is custom in the country where she lives, she was transferred, when she reached 'that age' (only four!), out of the baby house... out of the only 'home' she knew.

Nobody knew quite where she'd be transferred to.  Some of the kids from her baby house were transferred to horrible places.  IF a family was able to get them out, they were often found to have been starved or beaten.

Nobody knew how hard it might be to get Carolina out after she was transferred.

Michelle and her husband, Ammon, were certainly walking an unknown road.

It's scary enough adopting an orphan with special needs from a foreign country - imagine adopting from an institution where there were no adoptions, where outsiders didn't set foot, where updates were not given about the children.

When they got on the plane to fly to Carolina's country, the Buhlers' most recent information on their girl was already four years old.

They didn't know how big she was.  How far along in her development.  What sort of place she was living in.  Whether she was getting her needs met there.

They only knew that she needed a family.  And so they went.

They followed God's lead, they stepped out in faith.

They thought they knew the plan.

Get Carolina.  Bring her home.  One less orphan.

A worthy cause for sure.  It must be God's plan.

So they left everything they knew, flew to Carolina's country, and attended their official appointment to get Carolina's 'referral' in country - the first step to adopting her.

It was then that they were thrown for their first loop.  Carolina had a diagnosis that had not been in her file.  The facilitators in her country hadn't known.  The grant organization that helped them find Carolina hadn't known.  The families that had adopted from Carolina's baby house hadn't known.  Carolina had active cytomegalovirus (CMV).  It would add complications to her care as well as implications to her current condition as it can cause brain damage if a child is exposed in utero, and could possibly be spread to her new siblings and parents, affecting their health as well.  The Buhlers had to make a tough decision based on little information before they had even met Carolina.  Could they bring her home safely, knowing this additional diagnosis?

They cautiously proceeded.  They traveled far, far across the country to Carolina's region.  They nervously arrived to meet her for the first time and found themselves the subject of scrutiny by orphanage personnel, who didn't understand why anyone would want to adopt one of 'these children' (a child with special needs).

Imagine how hard it would be to get to know your child in a foreign place with people who had different ideas about children and special needs constantly watching over you.

Honestly, I can't even imagine being that far away from home for that long!  That is one of the things my trip to New Orleans taught me - I am NOT a long trip person!  Add a foreign country, language, and lifestyle to the mix and I'd be reeling.  Add all the emotions of adoption and... well, let's just say there's a reason I plan to adopt from a place with less time in country!

But the Buhlers?  They pressed on.  Michelle told me once that the travel time had not been ideal for them either - but that was where Carolina was, and when God said "Go to her," they had obeyed.

Over a few visits, they learned more about Carolina.  Some good and encouraging.  Carolina was healthier than some of us had expected.  She appeared well-nourished.  She spoke a few words and proved to be extremely proficient at walking on her knees (her cerebral palsy made walking on her feet impossible without proper therapy).  She expressed needs and wants consistently.  She even showed some signs of affection... something post-institutionalized children often struggle with.

Carolina loves to jump.  She likes to play with baby dolls and she asks for candy - but she doesn't like chocolate, except for white chocolate.  (Leave it to a kid to be in a country with some of the world's best chocolate, and not like it!)  She tolerates being held, usually to reach or do something she can't do alone, but her willingness to accept touch is encouraging.  She plays pretend with the baby dolls, which tells me that her imagination is alive and well.

But some of what they learned was not so good... in fact, it was downright distressing.  Years in an institutional setting are not good for a child.  In fact, this type of neglect has been shown to cause permanent brain damage.  Further, in these types of environments, children often learn a 'survival of the fittest' mentality.  They learn that to survive, they have to compete against all the other children.  It's not their fault - it's only human nature - but some children start to exhibit aggressive behaviors after exposure to this type of environment.  These behaviors tend to be especially severe with children who are smaller or weaker.



This is considered one of the greatest crises a family can face in country - finding out that the child they intend to adopt has developed aggressive behavior that could impact children they already have at home.  Parents are faced with the most heartbreaking choice:  bring home the child they crossed the ocean for and risk the safety of their other children; or turn down the referral of the child they prayed, hoped, and wished for all that time to protect the ones already in their home.  It's a choice I truly can't imagine having to make.  Yet it is the one Michelle and Ammon faced in Carolina's country.  Sad as it is, that sweet little girl had learned to fight to survive... and the Buhlers have other little children to think about as well.

It is a decision that tormented them.  It was not made lightly or easily.  Tears were cried.  Hopes were dashed.  Because families who ultimately choose not to accept the referral of the child they originally intended to adopt sometimes face judgment from the very community that supported them to begin with, there was pressure to decide one way or the other (although many of the Buhlers' supporters were very understanding and supported whatever decision they felt was best for their whole family as well as Carolina).  It certainly wasn't the adoption experience anyone would have hoped for.  Yet it is the one the Buhlers faced.

Ultimately, after conferring with friends and family as well as facilitators, orphanage staff and each other, Michelle and Ammon decided that they weren't the right parents for Carolina.  It broke their hearts.  They had loved, hoped for, wished for, and prayed for this little girl for months.  They had crossed the ocean in hopes of making her their daughter.  They had stepped out in faith when no one else would and said "Yes, we see this child's value and we're willing to do what it takes to bring her home."  Even when the journey threw them for loops, they hung on, trying to give things a chance to work out.  But ultimately it came down to the fact that bringing Carolina home could have serious negative consequences for their other children, and might not be the right placement for Carolina either.  They couldn't, in good conscience, bring home a child they weren't sure they could parent.

So Carolina was relisted as available for adoption.

But it wasn't all a loss for Carolina.  New pictures were posted.  Updates about her development, what type of family would be best for her, were added to her profile.  No longer would anyone have to rely on two-year-old information to determine if their family would be the right fit for her.  The Buhlers - and many friends and advocates - hoped, and still hope, that an experienced adoptive family, perhaps one without younger children, will step up to adopt her soon.

It is here that we catch a glimpse of what God's real plan was.  We all thought it was for the Buhlers to adopt Carolina.  But no.  God wasn't surprised by this.  He wasn't disappointed in His children.  He had known this twist Carolina's story all along, and He had sent the Buhlers anyways.  They were a huge, important part of his plan for Carolina's life.

Remember what I said about Carolina being transferred?  She was transferred to a place where there were no adoptions.  She was transferred to a place where the doors of the institution were firmly closed to nearly all outsiders, and those who were allowed in were forbidden from taking photos or information to share about children.  She was transferred to a place where the people who could give updated photos and information to the government's adoption authorities refused to do so.

If the Buhlers hadn't taken that leap of faith, Carolina would have remained unseen behind those closed doors.  Her information would never have been updated.  Her chances of finding a family would have dwindled further with every passing day.  Even if a family did step up later, they would face the same obstacles the Buhlers did... maybe more.

The Buhlers are the means God is using to provide the family He intends for Carolina with the information they need to take that huge step to make Carolina their daughter.  They are truly His hands and feet on earth.

Taking a step back, it becomes clear that God used Michelle and Ammon not only to help write Carolina's story, but also to pave the way for even more families to come.  After a couple days visiting Carolina's institution, Michelle told a story that gave me chills.

She said that on their first visit, the orphanage doctor had seemed very anti-adoption.  She felt that children like Carolina were best served in institutions like the one where Carolina currently resides.  But after the Buhlers' third visit with Carolina, the orphanage doctor stopped them as they were leaving to tell them she had changed her mind.  It turns out she had spoken to a family member about what life was like for children with special needs in the US - because of the Buhlers' presence at her institution - and learned of all the opportunities for therapy, education, and the ability to connect with a family, that children with special needs have in the US.  As they left the institution on that third visit, the orphanage doctor told them that she had changed her mind.  She no longer felt that children like Carolina belonged in institutions, but that they would be better served in families, and that she hoped they could be adopted.

WOW.  Are you as floored as I am?  Right there, a heart changed, the heart of a person who is responsible for the fates of countless orphans - because Michelle and Ammon took a leap of faith.

No, they didn't end up adopting Carolina.  As I stated before, they conferred with numerous people and felt that their family was not the right fit for her.  But all the same, they did more for Carolina than anyone has to date.  No one else had been willing to say "Yes, we will go for this child".  They did.  As they walked the winding, overgrown path to Carolina's institution, they wrote another, pivotal chapter in her story.  They were able to get more information on Carolina to pass on to families who might be willing and prepared to adopt her - who might have the family situation she needs.  They gave a precious child love and interaction she never would have had for several days.  They showed countless people - orphanage staff, children, community members - in Carolina's country - that there are people who want these children.  And because of their very presence, the heart of the orphanage doctor was changed.  She no longer thinks that children like Carolina are best served in institutions... she recognizes the value of a family.

This is the kind of change we all want to see in these children's birth countries.  The kind of change that will enable families to keep and raise children with special needs.  The kind of change that will erase the stigma of raising a child with special needs.  The kind of change that will improve the care that the children who are in institutions receive.  And it is happening... because this family said "yes" to walking an uncertain path.

Bigger plans indeed.

But the story doesn't stop there!  No - when it would have been so much easier, to just go home, when other families would have just given up, the Buhlers stayed in country.  No, they weren't adopting Carolina... but they weren't leaving empty-handed, either.  They were determined to save an orphan.

This is huge.  In case you didn't know, at this point I'll tell you that the Buhlers have four other children at home - at the time in care of relatives.  They had already been away from their children longer than any parent ever wants to leave their child.  It would have been so much easier for them to cut their losses and go home and nurse their broken hearts.

But they didn't.  They felt that God had sent them to save and orphan, and that's what they were going to do.  No, it wasn't the child they had originally intended to adopt, but does our Lord place more value on one life than another?

They went back to the capital city.  They attended another appointment.  They accepted a referral for a three year old little boy with cerebral palsy.  Meet "Nikolai".

Handsome, isn't he?  Even in his fuzzy referral photo?

Let me tell you a little about Nikolai.

Though lucky to still be in a baby house (as he should be at three), that baby house is in a region where adoptions, even international adoptions, are not common.  In fact, there has only been ONE adoption in this region in the past three years!  Nikolai was not listed on any advocacy site.  Nor were any of the other children from his orphanage.  No one would have ever even known he existed if the Buhlers hadn't seen and accepted his file.

It is worth noting that in Nikolai's region, there is a focus on encouraging domestic families to adopt children and to keep and raise their special needs children instead of surrendering them to state care.  This is likely part of the reason for the low rate of international adoptions.  However, domestic families had previously visited with Nikolai and decided not to adopt him because of his visible special needs.  Regional authorities felt he would be best served by an international placement.

They traveled to meet him.  I can't imagine the emotions Michelle and Ammon must have been facing at this time.  Mourning the loss of the child they had thought was their daughter, yet hopeful for the boy who could become their son.

They met him.

It was love.  He was theirs.  They proceeded with his adoption.

Just last week they had court and this little boy became Michelle and Ammon's fifth child.  A new life.  A new name.  Meet Ethan.

Soon, Michelle will bring him home... to his forever family.  The one he would never have had if the Buhlers hadn't stuck it out when things got hard in country, determined to save one of God's starfish, even if it wasn't the one they had originally intended to bring home.

Look at him.  He's ready to go.

But now imagine... what Ethan's life would have been like if it hadn't been for this long, winding, overgrown road that the Buhlers walked when no one else would.

He's three now.  Children in his country are usually transferred to adult mental institutions between the ages of 4 and 6.  One year.  Imagine.  He could have been transferred, to God knows where, what kind of conditions... in as little as one year.  Adoptions from institutions are even less common than adoptions from baby houses.  It is entirely possible that he could have been transferred someplace where no one, no matter how hard they tried, could have gotten him out.

Imagine this sweet, able little boy... locked away in a mental institution forever.

Recently, pretty much every adoption advocate I know has been screaming for another little boy... a little boy who wasn't 'found' while he was in the baby house like Ethan was.  A little boy who didn't escape transfer to a mental institution.  A little boy who was about to age out.

Brenton will be sixteen years old in just nine days.  And yes, that is a current picture.  He is the size of a preschooler.  Once a child reaches sixteen years old, he can no longer be adopted by an American family, as US immigration requires documents to be submitted prior to the child's sixteenth birthday.  We were all afraid, so afraid, that Brenton would 'age out'... turn sixteen without a committed family... and be condemned to a life in an adult mental institution.  We scrambled to find him a family.  Just yesterday, a family committed to Brenton.  He will be saved.

But that scramble?  That desperate situation where we had only weeks to find a family for a child before he  would be lost forever?  That all happened because Brenton was not listed anywhere until very recently.  He was not on an advocacy site.  No one had accepted his file in country.  No one had chosen him.  If he had been chosen, adopted, while he was younger, like Ethan has, he would never have been in this desperate situation.

Despite hardship, despite fear, despite uncertainty, the Buhlers saved a child.  Saved him from a life of institutionalization.  Saved him from permanent damage done by years of sub-par care.  Saved him from a dangerous last-minute scramble to find a family.  This is one less orphan we'll have to desperately search for a family for before he ages out... because he already has one.  Praise the Lord!

AND!  There is yet another twist to this story - one that is almost too unbelievable to behold.  Ethan was actually born in Russia - though neither of his parents were Russian.  When they returned to their home country, they left their baby in Russia.  He was placed in a Russian orphanage, where he lived for a time before his parentage came to light and he had to be transferred to an orphanage in his parents' country.  Given that there is currently a ban on US adoptions from Russia, this fact is jaw-dropping to me.  This child could have so easily been overlooked.  His fate could have so easily been the same one thousands of Russian children... children like Kyle, who I shared with you last week... face.  But it wasn't.  He was transferred back to his home country just in time for the Buhlers to find him and make him their son.  If that's not God working in this little boy's life, I don't know what is!

And then there's this part, which is only speculation, but it's likely true at least in part.  Remember what I said about there having been only one adoption in Ethan's region in the past three years?  Well... now there have been two.  I can't help but think that every family that comes through that region and says "Yes, we see the value in this child and we want him to be ours," shows the people of that region that maybe, just maybe, there is value in these children they have shut up in institutions.  Maybe they will be treated a little better.  Maybe some domestic families will be inspired to pursue adoption.  Maybe the people in charge of getting children listed for adoption and getting their faces out there, will start to notice this region.  There is work in progress to try to get some of the other children at Ethan's orphanage listed for adoption, so that we can advocate for and find families for them too.  More than likely, the road for the families that adopt from this region in the future, will be just a little easier - because the Buhlers walked it first.

Michelle is still in country with Ethan.  She is unsure if they have the funds they will need to get everything in order in country and fly home.  Even once they are home, things are going to be tight, because they were never fully funded and every extra penny is going to getting her and Ethan home from Eastern Europe.  All these loops they were thrown for destroyed the carefully laid plans they had for funding their adoption.  I honestly can't imagine the situation she's in right now... in country, without her husband or children, not even sure if she has the finances needed to get home.  If you'd like to be a part of easing that burden and helping her get home with her new son, you can donate to their Reece's Rainbow FSP here.  Michelle has promised that if any money is left over once they are home, it will be going to Carolina's grant.

Carolina.  The child they loved, the child they wanted to make their daughter.  There are people who think that the Buhlers let Carolina down because they didn't adopt her.  Maybe even people who think that they let God down, because they didn't complete the 'mission' that they thought God was originally sending them on.  I disagree.

Remember, people said those same things to me in New Orleans.  I was letting my mission team down.  I was letting the people of New Orleans down.  I was letting God down.

But God was not surprised - not then, and not now.  He knew it all before it happened.  He had mapped out our paths, even when we ourselves didn't know which way to go.  Just like I didn't fail God seven years ago, the Buhlers did not fail Him, nor Carolina, on this trip.  In truth, they did more for Carolina than anyone has.  Who was it that walked into unknown territory for this child's sake?  Who was it that obtained the new information where before there had only been outdated information?  Who was it that made sure that the family that was right for Carolina would be fully prepared for her needs?  Who was it that changed the hearts and minds of many in Carolina's country, simply by being there and caring about what happened to her?  Who was it that, even when things got difficult, refused to go home without saving a child?

Well I know one thing... it certainly isn't the people who are condemning the Buhlers for not adopting a child they weren't sure they could parent.

God has seen their work on behalf of the orphan, and He is not disappointed.

This brings me to one final point... and it is a difficult one.  Because so many people loved Carolina, when the Buhlers committed to her, she already had a large grant with Reece's Rainbow.  They really had little fundraising to do since the funds already raised for Carolina would be released to them once they had travel dates.  But because they didn't adopt Carolina, the money people had given toward her adoption now has to be replaced in her grant for the family who does adopt her.

In the past few weeks, the Buhlers have found themselves in country with barely enough money to cover their basic needs.  They had to beg and plead for $500 necessary to complete some requirements in Ethan's country.  Even though that need was met, I have a sneaking suspicion that the Buhlers could use quite a bit more than the $500 they asked for to get home.  And when they come home, during a time when they should be focused on bonding with their new son and getting him the medical intervention and therapy he needs, they will be responsible for paying back the money that was given to them for Carolina - just over $10,000.

If you have adopted, can you imagine what it would be like if you were responsible for that hefty pricetag just as you were getting home with your child?  How difficult would that be?  Many people will say, "Well, they didn't adopt Carolina, so that money was never really theirs to begin with, they should have to pay it back."  Maybe so... but also remember that they didn't even know about Ethan until they had traveled to the children's country.  He was not listed on an advocacy site so there was no grant designated for him.  The Buhlers thought they were adopting Carolina, so they counted on the money that was in her grant.  They had no reason to think they would need to do additional fundraising to what they already did, because that money was already there.  It's almost as though they were given an amount they needed to raise to adopt their child, and then, after the fact, they were hit with a sudden, hidden fee in a HUGE amount - and are now stuck with having to fundraise after they bring their child home... while they try to bond and do everything else.

That's a rough situation to be in.

It's no one's fault, it's just the way things work... the money raised for Carolina's adoption needs to be there for whatever family does decide to adopt Carolina... but at the same time, the Buhlers never had the chance to do the kind of fundraising it turns out they needed.

I'll tell you what I see.  I see a family who has gone above and beyond to help the orphan, a family who has stayed strong when some would have given up, a family who has blazed a trail for those who might come after them to adopt from regions and institutions where adoption is not common, a family who has changed hearts and minds along the way, and a family who has rescued a precious angel.  I see a family who needs and deserves our help raising money that they didn't expect to have to raise.

And I KNOW that God is NOT disappointed with their work to save the orphan.

If you would like to be a part of helping the Buhlers and supporting the amazing work they have done, we are asking that donations be made to Carolina's grant with Reece's Rainbow.  On the Paypal confirmation screen, there is an annotation that allows you to include a note with your donation.  It looks like this:

Click where it says "Add special instructions to recipient" and type your note in the box that opens up - something like "To help repay Carolina's previous grant" or "On behalf of the Buhlers".  This will ensure that your donations not only help Carolina, but ease the burden on the Buhlers as they return home with Ethan.

Beyond that, you can pray, and you can share.  You can pray that the Buhlers transition home will be smooth.  You can pray that the family that is right for Carolina will see her quickly and step up to adopt her. This family would be experienced with institutional behaviors and preferably not have any younger or weaker children (Carolina is seven).  You can pray that Carolina's grant can be repaid with minimal hardship to the Buhlers.  And you can share their need, so that even if you don't have the means to  help them repay it, maybe someone who does will see it.  Maybe Carolina's family will even see it.

I, for one, think that this is all part of Carolina's story... her road to the family God has intended for her... and we are just lucky to have seen another child saved in the process.  Thus far, no one has done more to help that story along than the Buhlers... and I think they deserve our thanks and our help.  Please, will you be a part of easing the burden on them and helping Carolina by giving to her grant?  Will you be a part of this divine story?

The link to Carolina's grant is here.  It is up to you now.

A Precious Soul

We called him "Kyle".

His only crime was being born with Down Syndrome in a country that doesn't see the value in people with special needs.

For this, he was placed in an orphanage soon after he was born.

In Kyle's home country, Russia, the orphanages are usually run by the government.  The Baby Houses are not usually so bad.  It's certainly no place to grow up, but the children generally appear well cared for... like Kyle did.

But between the ages of 4 and 6 years old, children with special needs are transferred.  Moved out of the baby house... to another place.

An adult mental institution.

Adult.

Imagine that tiny, delicate little boy in an institution for mentally ill adults.

That's where this transformation took place.

Yes, that's the same little boy.

The new picture came a few months after Russia banned adoptions to American citizens, as well as to unmarried mothers in any country which permits marriage equality... essentially destroying any chance "Kyle" and his fellow orphans ever had to find a family.

It shocked us all.

How could they do this to such a precious, vibrant little soul?

Today more news came down.

He died.  Kyle died.

He died alone in a mental institution.

He died without ever knowing the love of a family.

A precious soul, gone from this earth forever.

When I first saw the news today, I immediately started to cry.  But as quickly as the tears came, they were gone, replaced by anger.  Anger at the government which places so little value on the life of a child, simply because he has special needs, that it would sooner allow him to die in an institution than be adopted.  Anger at the political posturing that brought about this adoption ban and erased Kyle's future.

Then came the relief.  Yes, relief.

Remember, a few months ago we learned that this was Kyle's existence:

Abused.  Malnourished.  Neglected.  Sick.  In pain.

What a miserable existence.

Kyle's pain is gone now.  He is finally home.

No, he's not in the home we wanted for him.  He's gone home to be with God instead.  We had hoped he could know the love of an earthly family before that inevitability, but it didn't happen that way.

Nevertheless, he is home now.

No more abuse.  No more hunger pains.  No more banging his head against the bars of his crib just for some sort of stimulation.

Kyle has a new, perfect body in Heaven... no more pain.

That's why the relief.

And that's the feeling I'm going to choose to hold onto.  Gratefulness that God did not allow Kyle to suffer any longer - that He called him home rather than let him endure this Hell on Earth for one more minute.

It shouldn't be this way.  Children aren't supposed to die.  They are supposed to live long, fulfilling lives on Earth before going home to God.

Sometimes there's something we can do.  Pray.  Advocate.  Give.  Adopt.  The things I beg you to do every single day, for children who we can help.

But sometimes... like in Kyle's case... we are woefully helpless.  For the thousands of Russian orphans that still survive on this earth, there is little or nothing that we can do to change their circumstances.

It is in times like these that I pray the hardest.  Jesus, please come quickly.  Your children need you.

Close To My Heart | Reece's Rainbow Family

I have promised a few people (after my persistent begging for this family) in the past couple days that I would explain *why* 'Annie's family is so close to my heart.  This is that post.

Annie was close to my heart from the start, because she reminded me so much of my precious A, the little girl that I helped to raise and who lived with me on and off from ages 2-9.  Here are the two of them side-by-side.

On the left is my A.  On the right is RR's "Annie".

Wow, right?

How could I not fall in love with the little girl who reminded me so much of the one who holds my heart?  Even her description on Reece's Rainbow reminded me of my A.

"Diagnosis: delays in development -report indicates that due to delayed speech, Autism was initially suspected. However, no formal testing has been done and the child’s development is continuing to improve.

Annie is 7 years old. Her motor skills are well developed. She walks, runs, catches & throws a ball, climbs, hops on one foot and participates in musical games that require movement. Her fine motor skills are developing as well. She can open/close scissors and is learning to cut with them. She draws on paper, though she is not yet writing letters. She plays with play dough and builds a tower of 12 blocks. She is in the 1st grade and attending school outside the orphanage. She follows verbal directions and responds to her name. She tries to imitate words said by adults. She currently expresses herself non verbally. She is very protective of her possessions. She doesn’t often initiate play with the other children, but she will play close to them. She will join in organized group activities for short periods of time and is very emotionally responsive to familiar adults. She needs extra time to complete tasks and has a short attention span. She stops inappropriate behaviors when redirected by an adult. She feeds and dresses herself. Since she is non verbal, she does not yet indicate that she needs to go to the bathroom on her own, so she is taken on a schedule and is completely toilet trained using this method."

Delayed development... check.
Delayed speech... check.
Autism was initially suspected... check.
Well developed motor skills... check.
Follows verbal directions and responds to her name... check.
Very protective of her possessions... check.
Emotionally responsive to *familiar* adults... check.
Needs extra time to complete tasks... check.
Short attention span... super check.
Stops inappropriate behaviors when redirected... check.
Feeds and dresses herself... check.
Difficulties with toilet training... check.

Those very words could have been written about my A just a few short years ago.  In those short years, she has progressed amazingly.  I just know that with the love of a family, "Annie" will too.

Because I was instantly drawn to "Annie" because she reminded me so much of my A, I wrote a blog post about her.  I shared it in the Reece's Rainbow group I'm in.  Someone saw it.

She saw it, and her heart stopped too.  She saw it, and she too realized she was looking into the eyes of her little girl.  She showed it to her husband... and he, too, realized that this was the child that was meant to be theirs.

Amanda and Collin said "Yes" to Annie.  They inquired with an agency and sent commitment papers to both the agency and Reece's Rainbow.

God used me to lead them to their daughter.  I truly can't tell you what that meant to me.

You see, the past few years have not been easy ones for my A and I.  I can't share all the details, but in short, a little over a year ago, my A confessed something to me that she had never told anyone else.  Something bad.  Something serious.  She needed help... desperately.

I did everything I could to help her.  I fought for her.  I contacted all the right people.  I told them the truth.  I prayed for God to help me help A.

A little over a year later, we have been to hell and back.  We prayed without ceasing.  We went to court.

We lost.

I could not help A escape her situation or her abuser.  I made a promise to help her, and I failed.

It is the biggest failure of my entire life.

My heart is broken.

I haven't seen my sweet A in over a year.  I don't even know if she is safe.  If nothing has changed since the last time I saw her, she almost certainly is not.

I still pray every day.

I still sleep with her stuffed elephant 'lovey' every night.

I still believe she is coming home someday.

But for right now... I couldn't help my precious princess A.  I failed her.

I love you, Princessa.

But Annie...

Annie is our chance to create beauty from the ashes.

I couldn't help my A, as hard as I tried... but I can help Annie.

And then someday... I will have the most beautiful story to tell my Princessa... about how, without ever knowing it, she helped bring a little orphan girl home to her family.

I already let my sweet girl down.  I can't let Annie down too.

When Amanda and Collin began considering committing to Annie, I promised to help them in whatever way possible.  They took a huge leap of faith... and I promised to help them make it a success.

I can't break another promise to another little girl.

In honor of my sweet girl... I have to help bring this sweet girl to the parents who love and want her more than anything.

To the family she deserves more than anything.

"Annie"

But I can't do it alone.  I am but one person with very limited resources.

I have no job.

I'm not even currently capable of working, having had surgery for a debilitating condition some twelve hours ago.

My bank account reads $0.68

I raided my statehood quarter collection just to eat last week.

I am $400 short of a very important bill that MUST be paid in just over two weeks with no income.

I am crafty, but I have no money to buy supplies.  I am, however, little by little, piecing together an auction to benefit Annie's family.  But still I have no money to pay for postage.

I have ideas for fundraisers, but lack the resources (not just money - venues, volunteers, etc.) to pull them off.

All I really have...

Is my voice.

So I make it a loud one.

I scream for Annie and the Jones family every opportunity I have.

But my screaming is all for nothing if nobody is listening.

I need you.

Annie needs you.

Amanda and Collin need you.

To bring their little girl home... the very thing I failed at doing a year ago this fall.  The very thing that broke my heart.

We - I - can't fail again.

A child's life is on the line.

Everybody can do something.  I have seen people give out of nothing - families who are in the process to adopt themselves giving to other families.  Individuals who live on a fixed income sharing what little they have to help someone else.  Teenagers who save up their babysitting money to help an orphan.

Nearly all of us can spare something.  Even if it's only five dollars.  One dollar.  Any amount counts.

Can you imagine if each one of my friends and family, each one of Amanda and Collin's friends and family, each Reece's Rainbow supporter... gave just five dollars each?  Or even one dollar each?  Even at that low, easily manageable amount, thousands of dollars would be raised.

Isn't the life of a child worth a dollar to you?

Couldn't you pass up that big mac, or that Starbucks coffee, and eat at home instead, and be a part of saving a child's life?

Besides - God loves a cheerful giver.  I can't count the number of times He has blessed me for giving from nothing.  You'd be surprised what He will do for you if you give selflessly and with your whole heart.

And if you're in the situation I'm in right now... jobless... in debt... perhaps disabled... and truly don't have two pennies to rub together - there are still things you can do.

When was the last time you cleaned out your basement or attic?  Get a Christmas gift last year that just wasn't your style?  Unwanted gift cards?  Good at a craft?  These items make wonderful auction items - all you have to do is contact me at Callmecrazycbus@hotmail.com with a photo and a description of the item(s) you'd like to donate, and I can put them in Annie's Auction.  Depending on your location, Amanda or myself can pick up items, or you can ship them to us or directly to the auction winner.  Shipping reimbursement is available.  It doesn't cost you a thing... and helps clean out your house!

Just cleaned out your house and truly don't have anything extra lying around?  No good at arts and crafts?  There's STILL something you can do... and it only takes a couple clicks of your mouse.  At the bottom of this post, there are several icons that allow you to share it on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, and a variety of other social networks.  You can also copy and paste the link to the post anywhere you like.  Simply share the post, and maybe it will reach someone who DOES have something to give.  It's that easy to be a part of saving a life (not to mention making my day.  Seriously, every time someone shares about Annie and her family, I find myself grinning ear to ear for hours).

The easiest way yet to help is to pray.  One simple sentence added to your evening prayers.  "Dear Lord, please bring Annie home to her family, safe and sound."

I can't imagine that's too much to ask.

I can't turn away.  I have to do whatever I can, not just for Annie, but in honor of my A.  To create beauty from the ashes.  To help heal my broken heart.

Now you know why this means so much to me.  And you know exactly how you can help.  Please, I'm begging you not to turn away either.

Give.  Advocate.  Share.  Pray.  Everyone can do something.

And I guarantee, you won't regret being a part of this sweet girl's miracle.



Helpful links:

To GIVE MONEY:

• 50/50 fundraiser going on at the Jones family's blog until September 2nd HERE.
• Donate through the Jones' tax deductible Reece's Rainbow FSP HERE.
• Donate directly to the Jones' (non-tax deductible) via paypal HERE.
• Contact Amanda for information on sending a check (avoid paypal fees) HERE.
• Order Thirty-One products from Amanda HERE.

To GIVE AUCTION ITEMS:

• Contact me at Callmecrazycbus@hotmail.com.
• Contact Amanda at jones.jer2911@gmail.com.

To ADVOCATE/SHARE:

• Copy and paste the link to this blog post (http://crazy-arewethereyet.blogspot.com/2013/08/close-to-my-heart.html) anywhere you'd like.
• Copy and paste the link to the Jones' blog (http://youbeliftedhigh.blogspot.com/) anywhere you'd like.
• Copy and paste the link to the Jones' Reece's Rainbow FSP (http://reecesrainbow.org/61087/sponsorjones-2) anywhere you'd like.
• Use the 'share buttons' below this post to share it on the social media network of your choice (they look like this):  

To PRAY:

• Well - that one's easy!

Remember... EVERYONE can do SOMETHING!

Surgery... and a plea

Check out my other blog for an FYI on the surgery I'm having tomorrow, and a plea for my friends adopting this beautiful girl.

Adopted

This is by no means a new thought - in fact, the urge to write this post came to me after seeing someone else express a similar opinion tonight - but though it is not new, it bears repeating.

I am adopted.

No, I've never been in an orphanage, or even in foster care.  I went home from the hospital with the very same mother who gave birth to me, the very same mother who I've lived nearly 24 years of my life with.  I was not adopted by her, or even in this country.  In fact, you could perhaps call my adoption the ultimate international adoption.  I was adopted by someone out of this world.

As this Easter day comes to a close, I am reminded that centuries ago, when Christ died on the cross... it was my adoption that killed Him.  He gave His very life to bring me home.

Think about it.  In the act of adoption, a child who has somehow been deemed unworthy or too difficult to care for, is chosen by a parent who says "I will love this one.  I will bring her home.  I will be her family."  I, who am not worthy of His love or grace, who have sinned time and time again, have also been chosen by my Father in Heaven, who has said "I have made this one in my image.  I will give her love and grace."

When a parent sets out upon the journey of adoption, many sacrifices must be made.  Time and energy go into paperwork and homestudies.  Enormous sums are spent on agency fees, travel, various certificates and documentation, on and on.  The sacrifices start right away, and they never end - because we all know that being a parent certainly involves them!  And then I look to the greatest sacrifice in history - the one made by Christ for me... the sacrifice He made to adopt me.  He was beaten, mocked, ridiculed, tortured and crucified because He said YES to my adoption.

After all that sacrifice, all the struggles and pain and frustration and waiting, wishing, hoping, dreaming that is the adoption process, 'Gotcha Day' finally comes.  The day parent and child are united forever.  The day a child who was once cast aside by society, a person, a situation - is welcomed into a family for eternity.  This is a glorious day full of joy, a day when the fruits of that sacrifice begin to be seen.  I would argue that all of us who call ourselves Christians have a 'Gotcha Day'.  I remember mine clearly.  I've certainly considered myself a Christian my whole life, gone to church, read my Bible... but when I was 14, I went through my Confirmation ceremony.  That was the day I accepted Christ's adoption of me in front of my whole church.  In that moment I was filled with such a joy that I can not even describe... for that was the day I came home to Christ - my 'Gotcha Day'.

Then, when many people consider the adoption to be 'over', as a family settles in at home, the truly rewarding part of adoption comes.  Children who were ill, struggling, malnourished, unloved, alone, lacked proper care or treatment for their needs, are finally given what they need to flourish.  Remember little Katie?

 

Look at the truly unbelievable progress she's made in sixteen months!  And how about sweet Keith?

 

Home only 8 months and already such a transformation!  And countless similar stories, of children brought back from unthinkable circumstances and come to life... stories of redemption.  The same sort of redemption I will experience through Christ's love, through the grace He bestows upon me that absolves my unthinkable circumstances - my sins - and recalls me to life - true, eternal life.

I once read a quote that sticks with me, for I think perhaps no truer words have ever been spoken:  "My friends, adoption is redemption.  It's costly, exhausting, expensive, and outrageous.  Buying back lives costs so much.  When God set out to redeem us, it killed Him." ~Derek Loux

So yes.  I am adopted... and my adoption, yours too if you have chosen to accept Christ in your life, was the most costly of all.  On this Easter night, I simply want to say "Thanks" to the Father who adopted me, who gave His very life to redeem mine; "Thank you", to Christ whose resurrection we celebrate on this day.  I couldn't be more proud, or grateful, to have been adopted.

Going Back for More

Back when my other blog was my only blog, I'm sure I shared this picture with you:

This is Keith.  Well.  That was Keith.  You might remember that he was in a bad place.  A place where no child should be.  A place where, at four years old, he weighed only 12 pounds.  A place where he was alone all the time, lying unstimulated in a crib.

Then my friend Amanda Unroe said 'Yes' to Keith... and to four other children in the same country.  Yes, you read that right.  Amanda, who admits she's probably not entirely sane (but in the best way), brought five children with down syndrome home at once.  And she did it like a rockstar too.  Keith and his brother and sisters have been home for six months now.  Look at that little twelve pound 'baby' now...

Check out all that hair, the little bit of chub on his hand... the light that shines in him... having a family has brought him to life!  He escaped that place where no child should be, and now he gets to be part of one of the most amazing families I know.  The Unroes currently have eighteen children, and they love and treasure every single one of them.  In fact, Amanda may be the most fun mom ever - she lets them have indoor snowball fights!  When I heard that, I volunteered to be adopted next!

I think it's safe to say that these five 'orphans no more' have a lot of happy memories ahead of them...

The first of many *adorable* Christmases in a family!

But, my friend Amanda, as you can probably guess, loves kids.  Imagine a person like her going into the place Keith was, the sort of place you don't even want to imagine one child in, and knowing - seeing - that there are hundreds of them there.  A few of them have families coming for them... but what of the others?  Imagine coming home, seeing this beautiful child come to life, and then seeing more children who have suffered far too much for their short lives listed for adoption... and no one stepping forward for them.  Imagine knowing that for the ones you brought home, there are dozens more left behind.

Someone like Amanda experiences that and thinks 'I have more love to give.'  Bringing home children doesn't divide the love - it multiplies it.

So she committed to three more children in a terrible place.  Three more children who desperately need to come home... less than six months after getting home with these five.  And by the way, I have no doubt she's going to absolutely rock it with three more too.  The first year I did Vacation Bible School, there were 31 kids in my class, and myself and two other teachers.  I was fourteen.  I remember my mom saying to me that night, "Crazy, huh?" and I replied "I like this kind of crazy.  It works well for me."  That's the kind of person Amanda is.  Even though most of us can't imagine how we'd handle 21 kids, she handles 18 like a rockstar, and she'll do the same when the other three are home.  Everybody has rough days, sure, but for the most part, it sounds like a lot of fun to live in that house!

Meet the kids who will join the Unroe family this year.

"Presley" will be named Charity.

"Carson" will be named Johnathan.

"Thad" will be named Matthew.

Do you want to guess how old they are?  I'll bet you'd never have guessed that Keith was four in that first picture, five now, would you?  How about these little ones?

Charity is three.  She has autism.

Johnathan is six.  He has hydrocephalus, treated with a shunt.

Matthew is nine.  He suffered a severe brain injury from abuse by his birth parents.  He has been neglected so severely that he weighs only 18 pounds and his legs are contracted at the knee.  He needs to come home yesterday.

The family is currently working to update their homestudy, working on the dossier (paperwork) that needs to be sent to the kids' country and translated for their government, and filing paperwork with Reece's Rainbow to be eligible for the Family Sponsorship Program (FSP).  Once that paperwork is done you will be able to make tax deductible donations to them through Reece's Rainbow.  For now though, funds are still desperately needed.  They have a number of auctions and buy-it-now sales going on continuously on facebook, are participating in programs that will share portions of the proceeds with their adoption fund, and knowing Amanda, will be having any number of other fundraisers until these three finally touch American soil.  But right now, the biggest obstacle for them is money.  Every next step takes money.  Agency fees, getting documents in order to send to the government, filing them, paying the homestudy agency, I don't think I could accurately list everything if I tried, having never adopted myself, but since they went through this process already last year, they know what they're doing and have gotten everything together as fast as they could - and a lot of it is done - but now they need the money to move forward.

Look at him.  He is nine years old.  Matthew desperately needs the kind of love and care a family provide - the kind that transformed Keith from a crib-bound infant to a busy toddler on the verge of walking independently.

Money cannot be what stands between this little boy - or his brother and sister - and the care they need and deserve.  There is no time to waste.  They've waited years.  They shouldn't have to wait one more day than absolutely necessary.

Many of us have tax refunds coming this time of year.  I think I know where the Unroes' is going.  Lots of people plan vacations or buy themselves shiny new things with their tax refunds, and that's fine - you earned that money, you deserve it - but could you spare just a little bit to help bring these kids home?  $20, out of the whole amount?  Would that be too much to ask?  Too little, perhaps?  If I spent my money the way I really wanted to, they and a few other families would be getting my whole paychecks and I'd be living on chicken nuggets indefinitely.  Most of you know that I only just got a full time job - what I made last year was independent and won't earn me a refund.  Nevertheless, I'll pledge $20 from my next paycheck to the Unroes.  Would you be willing to match me?  And if you can't afford $20, how about $10?  Would you give up pizza night this week to help bring Matthew and the others home?  How about $5?  From what I understand, that's about one cup of coffee at Starbucks.  Brew your coffee at home one day, please, and help me bless this family?  You won't regret being a part of making a difference in the lives of these kids and indeed, their entire beautiful family.

Donations can be made via paypal to unroerescare@yahoo.com, or on their blog linked below.  There is a "Chip-In" on the upper right hand side of the blog where you can donate - Chip-In is down while I'm writing this so you can use the paypal address as an alternative, but the Chip-In should be back up soon.

And if you want to learn more about my friend's amazing family, please check out their blog (full of cute pictures too!).  A mutual friend, Michelle (who is adopting Carolina and could also use both prayers and funds - we are trying to arrange a local benefit for their adoption as they live relatively near me, so if anyone local can help us find a place to do that I would love to hear from you!) also wrote a beautiful post about them this week that you can read here.  In fact, please do read it.  She writes much more eloquently than I do... and she can tell you more about Matthew's story.

Friends... I know we're not all called to adopt.  I know we're not all called to have 21 kids.  We're not even all called to write blogs and fundraise for orphans.  But we're all commanded to CARE for orphans.  Here is a family who has done wonderful things (all but one of their children are adopted, by the way), and you have the chance to help them, to be a part of that.  I'm blessed to have been even a small part of it.  Don't let another day go by missing out on that.  Match my pledge... or exceed it... or just give what you can... say a prayer... offer an encouraging word on their blog... do anything except nothing.

 

They're counting on you.