Divided We Fall

I had a long, hopefully eloquent post typed out about what I'm feeling tonight.

I deleted it.

What I have to say, you can't say eloquently.

And no one would listen anyways.

No, this is one of those times when I have to be blunt... so I will.

We are failing.

I'm talking to you, adoption advocates.  ALL of you.

I don't care what ministry you support.

I don't care what your philosophy on adoption is.

I don't care who or from where you've adopted, or even whether you've adopted at all.

I'm talking to ALL of you.

We are failing.

Around twelve years ago (you do the math), I learned the phrase, "United we stand, divided we fall."

We are falling.

We have divided, and divided, and divided ourselves so many times that there is no one left to band together to support families the way we should.

People are afraid to support this family or that family.

Because they use a different ministry.

Because they're friends with the wrong people.

Because they said something you didn't like.

So instead they gather with their friends and whisper about what this group or that group is doing wrong.

And the family is left with little or no support.

And the child waits longer.

And the Enemy rejoices.

I have to share something my mother told me (and actually, she had to tell me repeatedly before it sunk in) when I had essentially grown up.

You are NOT going to agree with everyone all the time.  That doesn't mean they're not entitled to their opinion, or that you're not entitled to yours, or that either of you aren't entitled to voice them.

It takes all kinds to make the world go 'round.

Right now, we're letting these differences of opinion - over every little thing - divide us.

And we are falling.

And when we fall, the children fall with us.

I won't tell anyone not to have an opinion.  It's your right to have an opinion.  But when we start insisting that others share our opinions "or else", or when we villify anyone who disagrees with that opinion, we only hurt our own cause.

Voices go silent, for fear of being criticized.

Voices that were shouting for the children.

Our minds start to see things in terms of "us" and "them", diminishing the support systems we depend on to do good work.

It's okay to disagree!

In fact, it's great!

One of the first rules of research is to research your opposition.  Find out what, if any value their arguments have.  It is in feeling out all the possible points of view that we form our own - the one that is right for us.

You know what, it's even okay not to like someone, or even a group of someones.  People aren't always going to get along.

But excluding or speaking ugly words about people who have the same basic goal as you do - to get kids home - can only hurt the cause we share.

Share your point of view.  Let others share theirs.  Let people make up their own minds.

Sure, you might feel like you're right.  You might want to defend that opinion to the death.

But is it worth it, at risk of further dividing our already fractured community?

Is it worth it, when divided we fall?

I'll be brutally honest.  Right now, I'm seeing a lot of behavior from adults - adults who call themselves Christians - that makes me sad.  Behavior that I do not think is constructive to our goal, but rather destructive.

And lest anyone think I am directing this post at one particular group or faction, please know that is absolutely not my intention.  This post is a culmination of feelings I've had for months now that I just couldn't hold in any longer.  Yes, I am affiliated with certain organizations.  This does not mean that I think that those who are affiliated with a different organization are wrong.  We, of all people should know that different does not mean bad!  Outside that affiliation, however, I do not belong to any faction except the one that wants to get kids home - and regardless of our affiliations, isn't that the one we all belong to?

I'm just a person who doesn't want to see us fall because we have divided ourselves.

I want to ask you all to think before you speak.  Go ahead, voice your opinion.  But your voice stops where another voice begins.  We cannot, no matter how right we think we are, quash the rights of others to voice their opinions.

Remember, it was Jesus himself who said, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."