Blunt, Honest, Whatever you want to call it

I haven't posted much this season.  That's obvious.

I keep meaning to.  I keep meaning to do all kinds of things.

I posted before that I've been busy, and that's true.  But I realized today that it's not why I haven't been posting.  It's not why I've been quieter than usual on facebook, in groups and on my own page, it's not why I didn't choose my own Angel Tree child this year instead of teaming up with someone else.  Being busy has little, if anything, to do with 'where I've been'.

This is the blunt and honest part.

I'll tell you what DOES have to do with where I've been.

I'm discouraged.  More than discouraged.  I feel sad, depressed and hopeless.  When I think about writing a blog post or launching a fundraiser, the next thought in my mind is "Why bother?"

And I wish I could say I was alone.  Spoken or unspoken, I am not the only advocate who feels this way right now - not to mention the families, trying desperately to raise ransoms for their children.

Christmastime is usually a hot-bed of activity for orphan advocates.  Reece's Rainbow does the Angel Tree.  Everybody has an auction and everyone tries to do their shopping at auctions.  There are daily blog posts trying to get those kids on the bottom tier of the Angel Tree to the next step.  There are people who do their Christmas giving in ways that help families get one step closer to their children.

This year has been different.

Sure, there has been fundraising for Angel Tree... but honestly, when I look at the page it just makes me sad.  Some children have raised thousands in the past six weeks, while others sit with meager amounts barely over two digits.  I'm not saying the advocates for the children who've raised thousands have done anything wrong - in fact, they've done everything right... but Angel Tree has always been a team effort more than anything... and this year I just haven't seen as many people rallying for the kiddos with the least, and I can't help thinking that we could be sharing the wealth more than we are.

There have been families doing auctions, selling items from companies like usborne and thirty-one that make perfect gifts... but instead of doing a brisk Christmas business, this year they've been shouting themselves hoarse to no avail.  Others have given up entirely, preferring to take a break and re-energize their efforts over the holidays.

And there have been advocates, like me... countless advocates... who blog less, shout less, help less, and maybe even pray less... because after watching fundraiser after fundraiser fall flat on its face, we can't honestly imagine how anything we do could make a difference.  How our fundraiser would be any different.  How our blog post would make any more of an impression.  How anyone will notice us screaming when it seems like everyone's got ear plugs in.

But worse, there are the children.  Both children with families coming and those without... it is they who truly suffer when we fall short.

How many times, I ask those of you in the advocacy community, have you or someone else begged, screamed, and shouted for a child to find a family, for just someone to say "yes" to that child?  Even this year with fundraising stalled for many of us, that's one type of post that hasn't decreased in number.  But how can we expect families to step up and offer that "yes" we're so desperately pleading for, if this is how we support them after they do it?  Remember, they're seeing the same things that you're seeing.  Fundraisers fizzling.  Absent advocates.  What used to be a team effort turning into people taking sides over everything.  The ones who HAVE stepped up and said "Yes, we will offer a home to one of the least of these", have not had the kind of support they deserve from the rest of us.  Other potential families SEE that!  They SEE families begging and pleading for every dollar, sometimes right from the start and sometimes right up until they board the plane home.  How can they say "yes" when they know they will likely be signing up for the same sort of stress, the same lack of support, the same frustrations?

We've created a difficult environment in which to have the faith to step out onto the water.

I'm not saying we're doing nothing.  I'm not saying people aren't trying.  They are.  They're trying so hard, in fact, that they're becoming exhausted and disheartened, like I am.  It's not enough to try for 'your' child or your 'favorite' family.  If we all only advocate for ourselves, who then is left to hear our voices?  At one point in the last year I wrote about how touched I was to see a family currently in the process of adopting giving to another adopting family.  It was actually something I saw all the time.  This year, not as much.  So many of us, myself included, have gotten sucked into our own little world, our worries about having enough to support 'our' family or 'our' orphan, that we forget to help others in their efforts.  As if we haven't learned already that when you give selflessly, the Lord multiplies your offering to bless many.  Or maybe we've just forgotten.

This is my call to action.  Tonight, I'm going to STOP focusing so much on what I'm NOT doing for the families I promised to help or the orphans I promised to shout for.  I'm going to look around at everybody else's efforts.  And I'm going to see who I can help... because helping others is the only way I can really expect anybody to help me.  I challenge the rest of you to do the same.  Don't hesitate to give because you're not close with a family, or because you never noticed a child before.  Listen to the cries of the families and warriors, and let your heart tell you where to give.  I promise you, it will be multiplied back upon you.  And above all?  PRAY.  PRAY that the Lord would lift the burdens of those we love.  We have taken too much upon ourselves.  It's time to put things back where they belong: in His hands.