Twenty-five

This weekend I turned 25.

(And got the world's most awesome shirt)

This is a big deal birthday for me.  No, no driving privileges (unless you count that I can now cheaply rent a car), buying alcohol or tobacco (never really was interested anyways), gambling or lottery tickets (ok, the best part of those is scratching them off just for fun)... no earning the right to vote, no 'over the hill', it's not one of 'those' landmark birthdays.  But it's a big deal to me.

Why?

Two and a half years ago when I found Reece's Rainbow, when I prayed for God to break my heart in the ways that break His - and my heart was broken for orphans with special needs all over the world - I started reading up on what a person had to do to adopt.  To my delight, I found that single mothers could indeed adopt from some countries!  There was an income requirement - but it was one that seemed achievable.  And then I hit the brick wall... the minimum age requirement for any American to adopt was twenty-five.  That seemed so far off.  By then, many of these children would have spent most of their childhoods in orphanages.  Many of them would have died, having never known the love of a family.  And I couldn't go after them... not yet.

So what I did was I made a resolve.  I told myself that God had brought these kids to my attention early for a reason, that He was giving me time to get my affairs in order so that when 25 hit, I was ready.

Sometimes I wonder if God laughs a bit to himself when He sees that we think we've figured out His plan.

In the 2.5 years that I was supposed to be spending getting ready to adopt, I've had at least three surgeries, at least half a dozen hospitalizations, a court battle over one of my dear borrowed kids, filed bankruptcy, and lost multiple jobs due to health issues.  Instead of being independent, ready to bring an orphan into my home to love as my own forever, I still share a home with my mother.  I still scrounge for pennies just to buy food sometimes.

So even though my family (incidentally, only part of which is defined by blood, underscoring the message of my awesome new Reece's Rainbow Sevenly shirt) made my 25th birthday an absolutely wonderful, beautiful day, there is a bittersweet aspect.  A mourning of the loss of the hopes I once had for this day.

It was just as I sat down for a birthday dinner with my little family that I got the message from a friend - "Did you see Elizabeth's post about you?"  I rushed to read what she was talking about, knowing it could only be good.  You see, a little under a year ago, I got to know a wonderful woman named Elizabeth via Reece's Rainbow.  There are a lot of things I could tell you about Elizabeth.  The most obvious, the one most people might think to mention first, is that she has cancer.  But cancer isn't what I think about when I think about Elizabeth.  Just like my dearly departed friend Angie, she doesn't let the disease define or limit her life or who she is.  What is MORE important to tell you about Elizabeth is that she has one of the kindest, most giving spirits of anyone I have ever met.  Knowing her diagnosis would prevent her from adopting, Elizabeth has poured herself into giving whatever she can to children in need and the families who CAN go for them.

That day, without even knowing my personal reflections about turning 25, Elizabeth decided to give me the greatest gift of all... to include me in her magic-making... to allow me to choose a child or family to receive a donation today, for my birthday.  I am so thrilled and blessed to be given this opportunity.  However, it is so hard, when there are so many deserving children and families, to choose just one to bless today!  So that's where my part of the plan comes in.

When Elizabeth made her announcement, I already had a couple children in mind who I would like to see get donations.  But the families... goodness, the need there is overwhelming, and I had no idea how to choose.  I asked for suggestions... families close to travel, families needing large sums, or just families that held a special place in someone's heart.  And boy, did I get suggestions!  Hah - and I thought asking for them would make it easier to choose!  WRONG!  

I have prayerfully chosen to share the blessings with one family and one child.  The family will be the Horton Family adopting Gary and Marnie and the child will be Annie #40-4.  The Hortons are a wonderful family who brought home a beautiful little girl from Eastern Europe last year - sweet Sophia has undergone a complete transformation since then - she is so healthy and thriving now!  We can't wait until Gary and Marnie are home and can enjoy the same blessings of having a family.  The Horton family will be leaving for their Gotcha trip in just a few days!

And sweet Annie... my love... I can't recall if I posted about it or not, but the family who had committed to her was regretfully unable to continue and released her.  They still love her and have promised to help me advocate for her.  As a result of their commitment to her, though, Annie has a permanent listing on Reece's Rainbow and a grant account, which is uncommon for children in her country unless they have Down Syndrome.  Most children are listed for the two months an agency has their file, and then disappear again.  Because of my friends' initial commitment to Annie, she will now be able to have money in her grant account when a family does step forward for her!  Sadly, Annie has recently been transferred to a mental institution.  Someone needs to rescue her, and fast!

In the process of choosing the Hortons and Annie, though, many deserving families and children have come to my attention.  I would like to share all of these here and ask for your help, as well as introduce one more fundraiser for a third family.

Here is a list of families and children whose needs were brought to my attention, including links to their FSPs and/or blogs.  I am humbly asking that you help me out with a 'two for one' gift - two for one because both myself and the families/children will be blessed by your gift.  I'm calling it "25 for 25" - as in, $25 of any denomination, for my 25 years of life.  Would you please consider giving $25 (for my 25th birthday) - or if you can't afford that, $2.50, or even $0.25 (or any other amount) to any one of these families or children?  Since I am unable to adopt at 25 as I had hoped, and am temporarily unemployed and therefore unable to give as much as I'd like to these families and children, all I have left is my voice... so I am begging you to give me the gift of helping me help them.  It's all I want for my birthday.

• Alejandro for the Greene family - This family is in the process of their first adoption, and overwhelmed by all the emotions and excitement that go with that.  A little FSP encouragement could be just what they need!
• Kiril and Dell's family - These two have been waiting so long for a family... and it's finally their turn!  What a blessing it would be for them and their family to get a little help bringing their boys home!
• Brandy and Brielle for the Casebier family - Terri Casebier has been the most wonderful advocate for so many families.  Even as they raise funds for their own adoption, she posts all the time about families with urgent needs.  When I asked for suggestions of families for this project, she not only posted her FSP but those of several other families!
• Rita for the Mayr family - This family is getting ready to travel for their 'gotcha' trip and are still thousands of dollars short!  Could you please help out in some way?
• Margaret for the Thorp family - This family is traveling within the next few weeks and are still short on funds.  They have already suffered a huge blow as Margaret's sweet sister Merry, to whom she was very attached, passed away early this year.
• Daniel for the Rakoczy family - One of the 'pipeline' families who was in process to adopt a child from Russia, this family has chosen to adopt a child from another country and are traveling in a few weeks, but still thousands short!
• Abby-Kate for the Lewis family - This family is leaving in only a couple weeks and still nearly $1500 short!  They could really use an FSP boost of any amount.
• Theo, Orion, and Barton for the Bloom family - Another family traveling soon, the Blooms are adopting three older boys (and I hear rumor that they are considering adding one more!).  A donation to their FSP would be greatly appreciated.
• Gage and Millie for the Novit family - I added this family myself.  Colleen has been a huge inspiration to me in recent months - through ups and downs, she has kept her focus where it belongs - squarely on the children.  Now she is adopting two precious children - one, an older girl with DS who has been waiting a very long time, and one a little boy from "the bad place" who very badly needs to come home.  She has been the biggest cheerleader for so many children and families and I think it's time she gets some recognition of her own.
• Berkeley +1 for the Williams family - This is another family I added myself.  The Williams' "+1" was originally supposed to be an older girl they had previously hosted.  They were set to travel in the next few months to finally bring her home - this girl who knew and loved her family already - when her region closed to adoptions due to political upheaval in country.  Their hearts are broken but they have not completely given up on the girl who will always be their daughter.  For those of you who know me and my story, you know how I identify with their struggle.  As the Williams continue to prepare to bring Berkeley home, in spite of all that is against them, they could really use some encouragement.
• Maria for the Cox family - Another family I added on my own.  Kristi Cox replied to the post to wish me a happy birthday, but didn't even post her own FSP.  I have grown to love her family over recent months, initially because she has a little girl similar in age to my A and whose (uncommon) name is only one letter different.  Kristi's A longs to bring home her sister, a child who has waited far too long, and any help for them would be deeply appreciated.
• Tatiana for the Darrow family - This is the last family I chose myself, and I chose them because of their daughter.  Tatiana was one of the first children I loved when I found Reece's Rainbow 2.5 years ago.  She had a family at one point but they were not prepared for her needs and had to turn down her referral.  Tatiana desperately craves attention and a family would do her so much good.  Now this family has stepped forward for her, and I want to support them.
• BRETT NEEDS A FAMILY - For anyone who prefers to donate to children's accounts instead of families, I have added a couple.  You all likely know my love for sweet Brett, who has waited far too long, as long as anyone can remember, for a family.  Go and read his story, if you haven't yet, and tell me it doesn't break your heart.  As an older boy (one of the hardest groups to place), Brett is going to need all the help we can give him.
• GEORGE NEEDS A FAMILY - Only recently listed, but still an older boy who has waited in an institution far too long, George is in the same place as Brett.  The sad face in his profile picture breaks my heart, and I long to see a family turn it into what I'm sure is a handsome smile.  A family for George would also mean more visibility for Brett, and we know this helps get kids adopted.  George has been on my heart since the day he was listed and I would deeply appreciate any help for him.

Finally, there is one other project and family that I would like to mention.  I have recently taken up making paracord bracelets, which are stylish, can display your colors, cause, or team of choice, and are useful in many situations.  To read more about the many uses of paracord, check out this link.  For local customers, I am selling these for $5 each - colors and size customizable, or I have some premade in stock.  For customers requiring shipping, they are $7 (to account for shipping) although if multiple bracelets are ordered, only the first is $7 and the rest are $5.  I have already sold 6 of these and would like to sell more (maybe 25?) before the end of the month.  At that point, the proceeds from the bracelets will be donated to another family.  Choosing a family for Elizabeth's wonderful gift also helped me choose my April family for this project, which will be the Winslows, adopting Edward and JoyAnna.  I have long loved this family.  They initially committed to, and met, a little girl called Zoey.  Zoey was a tiny, frail thing in desperate need of medical attention.  Sadly, not long after their trip to meet Zoey, during which they held her, sang to her, and read her Bible verses, Zoey went home not with the Winslows, but with Jesus.  Determined to rescue another child in desperate condition, the Winslows did something nearly unprecedented and added another child to their adoption after the first trip.  Now, because of Zoey, JoyAnna will be given the gift of a family and a life outside an institution.  So for the month of April, if you order a paracord bracelet from me, all the proceeds will go to the Winslows, who expect to travel in May!

Sweet Zoey in the arms of her Mama

Edward and JoyAnna

Please check out what I have to offer in paracord items here (you need not have a facebook account to see the album) and consider ordering something this month to benefit the Winslows!  You can message me on facebook or comment here and I will give you an email address to use to order these.

Need to Start Fresh

Those of you who are still reading (or would be if there were anything here to read) might have noticed my lack of posts recently.  I could say the same things over again... that I've been discouraged, that I've had a lot going on in my life, that I haven't been quite sure what to do with my blog... but you've heard it all already.

One thing that I do need to get out of the way is that Annie, the darling girl I advocated for who is basically my A's doppleganger, had a family, but they were not able to proceed with her adoption.  This is sad news as they very much loved Annie and wanted to bring her home.  But on a positive note, not long after my friend's family discovered they would be unable to proceed with Annie's adoption (due to circumstances beyond their control), they found out they are pregnant after years of infertility!  Your prayers are much appreciated for my friend Amanda and her growing family, as well as for Annie and whomever her family might be - that they will find her and bring her home!

Now, that said, I don't exactly have a specific family to raise funds for right now, so I would like to focus for a while on finding families for a few special kids.  Finding Annie a new family is a priority... she is at a prime age to be adopted and I think she will bring so much joy to a family... but they need to find her before she spends more time in an orphanage, which is no place for a child to grow up.  At any time she could be transferred to a place that does not care for her as well as it seems the current facility does.  I want her family to come for her before that can happen.  Another priority remains finding a family for sweet Brett, who has waited 12 1/2 long years for a mama to call his own.  I do not want to be yelling for that boy at the 11th hour, when he is near aging out.  More and more families are bringing home older children with down syndrome and wondering how they lived so long without them!  Brett's profile states that he is not aggressive and it is believed that he would do wonderfully in a family.  NOW is the time to bring him home... I can't imagine that poor boy having to go through the teen years alone!

Annie

Brett

Besides those two, who are very near and dear to my heart, there are still four children, who are available for adoption (and 3 of whom are listed through Reece's Rainbow), living in the orphanage known as "The Bad Place".  A couple years ago when little Katie Musser came home at 9 years old and 10 pounds, children from that orphanage were being scooped up as quickly as they could be listed.  Everyone wanted to do something for a child like Katie.  But now... where have those people gone?  And so four children, some very able, some very young, all precious and beautiful... continue to wait.  In a place that, despite the improvements the new director has made, no child should be.

These children belong in families.

So for now - I think my focus is going to be less on fundraising and more on finding families.  Once families are found for some of these little ones, I'll be ready and set to do what it takes to help them bring their little ones home.  That doesn't mean I won't occasionally post a link to a fundraiser, or plead on behalf of a family in dire straits - (incidentally, the Harlin family is stuck in limbo in a certain tumultuous Eastern European country right now and stretched very, very thin... they were never completely funded anyways and now the children's father has used up all his paid leave from work due to the delays in country - not to mention that their son Sergei, who they just adopted, is very medically fragile and needs to get to the US for medical care ASAP - but can't, without a stamp from a region that is in complete chaos.  Your prayers, and even donations if you feel so led, are coveted for them.) - but overall, right now, what we NEED is for families to step forward.

Another thing I'd really like to spend some time focusing on in the coming months is the reality of what it is like for orphans with special needs around the world.  I have noticed more and more new people coming 'into the fold' so to speak, learning about the plight of orphans, and I would love to help express to more people what things are really like for these kids.  I will likely be reaching out to friends, maybe even guest bloggers, to assist me with spreading the word.

I can't promise that posts will come at a steady pace right now - there is still a lot going on in my life - but I am going to try to post more regularly.  In the meantime, won't you please join me in prayer, and maybe spread the word, about the needs of Annie and Brett, and for the Harlin family?  Prayers for Ukraine would also be deeply appreciated as this country is dearly loved by many of us in the international adoption community.  What has gone on there is certainly sad, but perhaps even sadder is the humanitarian crisis unfolding as thousands of orphans are now effectively 'stuck' in Crimea as Russia claims it has reabsorbed the territory, thus causing Crimean orphans to fall under the Russian ban of most international adoptions.  For many of these children, international adoption is their only hope, as their special needs render them invalid by their own country.

Innocent casualties of war...

In any case, that's where things stand right now.  I apologize for anyone who was unhappy (or even noticed - I hold no delusions that my blog posts are something magnificent to look forward to) with my absence... I am hoping to do better in the future!  For now though, the best thing any of us can do is PRAY!

Reece's Rainbow Families & Children | I'm failing.

This is one of those 'being honest' posts.

I've been advocating for international orphans with special needs for almost exactly two years now.  It was right around Thanksgiving when I saw Katie Musser's picture and read her Mama's blog and watched the videos and visited Reece's Rainbow and the entire weight of the orphan crisis hit me like a ton of bricks.  Two years ago, I couldn't even sleep because no matter what I did to help, it wasn't ENOUGH.

One year ago, with Angel Tree in full swing, helping to raise $1000 each for TWO boys, I was preparing to shave my head if they met their goal... which I did, and I'll have you know it was actually kind of fun!  Not that I want to do it again.  I miss ponytails.

This year I'm failing.

I didn't officially sign up for Angel Tree because I wanted to devote my efforts to helping my friend Laura raise Brett's Angel Tree money.  I was also committed to helping a family raise the money they need to progress with the adoption of their daughter.

All the well-laid plans I had in the past year fell apart in a haze of hospital stays, heartbreak, frustration, and being overwhelmed.

Now it's nearly halfway through Angel Tree... and Brett's total for this year sits at $44.55.  The very bottom tier.  There are some kids already up to $5,000 raised in the past month alone!

I'm failing.  I'm failing Brett.  Brett, who has sat on Reece's Rainbow for at least four years.  Brett, who has been overlooked for too long.  Brett, whose grant was under $100 when I started advocating for him.  Brett, who has been sitting in an orphanage, no family ever coming for him, for TWELVE YEARS.

And I'm failing Annie.  Annie, and her Mama and Daddy to be, who I promised to help.  Annie, who reminds me so much of my precious A, who I would do anything to bring home.  The Enemy has waged war on the Jones family, whose nest-egg for adoption was eaten away literally as soon as they announced their intention to adopt.  Now they are left scrambling to come up with money urgently needed for agency fees.  Money that has to be paid before they even get that invitation to travel.  I'm failing my friend Amanda, who has tried literally EVERYTHING to raise the money to bring her girl home.  Seriously, look at the blog post here where I listed all the ways we were trying to raise this child's ransom!

I feel a tremendous amount of guilt.

Sure, I could say that I've been overwhelmed.  I started a new job in October which is exhausting and takes up 45 hours per week of the time I used to use for advocacy and fundraising.  When my best friend had to go out and get two jobs to support her family, I took on caring for her kids when she works and I don't, so she doesn't spend all she makes trying to pay a babysitter.  I do that happily, because I love her and I love her children - but it's usually another 20 hours a week of my time.  When I do get some downtime, I'm emotionally and physically exhausted and just want to zone out.

I could say that.  But that's an excuse, to me.  And not a good one.  Because you see, while I moan and groan over losing 65 hours per week of free time, while I feel desperate just for some time to zone out... Brett and Annie have nothing to do but zone out.  They have waited too long for a family.  They have far too few people to advocate for them and even fewer willing to step up and change their worlds.  No one, so far, has come forward and said "That is my son," for Brett.  Not in two years of me advocating for him.  Not in four years or more of being listed.  Not in twelve years of life.  ONE family did step up and say "This is our daughter" for Annie - and yet, even among those of us who spend all our time begging for families for children, begging to save them from life in an institution, asking why someone doesn't step up, they have not received the support they need to complete her adoption! 

And I'm as guilty as anyone else.  New job or not.  Exhausted or not.  I'm failing them.

To Brett, and Annie, and my friend Laura, and my friend Amanda and her husband Collin:  I am sorry.  I should be doing more.  I should be doing better.

To everyone else:  I can't do better without you.  Please.  Help me.  See these kids.  See this family.  DO SOMETHING about their need.  Many of the fundraisers I was talking about in the previous post for the Jones family are still going on.  Check out the new shirts (and the old ones, which I got one of and they're AWESOME) at their blog here.  I plan to add a couple more fundraisers to my blog that are currently only on facebook very soon.  My friend Laura is working on a fundraiser via facebook for Brett, which I will also announce here very soon.  Until then, you can support the Jones via paypal, or via their Reece's Rainbow FSP (please note that paypal donations are not tax deductible, but are available for the immediately needed fees, whereas FSP donations are tax deductible but not accessible until travel invitation).  You can support Brett by buying his Angel Tree ornament, or just plain donating to his grant at Reece's Rainbow.

Tomorrow is the day we are supposed to give thanks for what we have.  What better way to show our gratitude than to bless someone else?  And truly, it isn't even only the children or families you will be blessing... there are many advocates cheering along the sidelines who would be so thankful to see these kids a little closer to home.

As for me... I'm making the decision to stop failing NOW!  Get ready to hear from me a lot more often - because I won't rest until these kids are HOME!

(Not So) Happy Birthday

I want you to take a moment to remember your last birthday.

If you can't remember your last birthday, then remember one that sticks in your mind (I know, some of us are getting older and this remembering stuff doesn't go so well anymore).

Here's my last birthday.

Yup.  I was in the hospital.  It was actually my third day in the hospital due to complications following surgery to remove stones from my right kidney.  I was in a lot of pain and on both oral and IV pain medications.  The machine that dripped antibiotics and saline into my veins would start beeping frequently - every time I moved my arm the wrong way.  Notice how I'm holding it out straight there?  I was trying to avoid the beeping, which I would then have to page a nurse to stop... even at 4:00 in the morning.

But then... check out all those presents!  They were wrapped and lovingly loaded into a huge thirty-one bag by my mom, and brought to me at the hospital early that morning.  Even more astonishing, after having been by my side as long as visiting hours would allow the previous two days (leaving the hospital after 9 pm the day before my birthday), she also brought my favorite homemade chocolate caramel cake that she had made after she got home the previous night.  Complete with candles and ice cream.

We shared cake and ice cream with the nurses and the other patients on the ward, as well as their guests.  Other nurses came into my room to join in singing Happy Birthday.

I turned 24 in the hospital.

It was an improvised birthday.

It wasn't the one I had planned.

But I was lucky.  I was blessed with people who were willing to do whatever it took to make it special.



In about five hours, it will be August 23, 2013, in a certain Eastern European country.

What's so significant about that?

Many people would probably say 'nothing'.

But not me.  That day is special to me.

It's someone's birthday.

"Just an orphan" they might say.  "One of thousands."

"An idiot child" they might say.  "Nothing will become of him."

But they're wrong.  Because twelve years ago, God saved this little boy, nicknamed "Brett", from certain death.

You see, Brett was born in a field in the country and immediately abandoned by his birth mother.  Maybe she knew he had down syndrome.  Maybe she didn't.  All the same, she left that little baby there to die.

But a stranger came upon that baby hours later, whose cries had grown weak, who was now hypothermic and covered in bug bites.  That stranger took the baby in his arms and sought help.  Maybe he knew he had down syndrome.  Maybe he didn't.  All the same, that stranger saved Brett's life.

He was taken to the hospital.  The doctors nursed him back to health.  Then, as a child without parental care, and a child with a special need that was not widely accepted by the citizens of that country, there was no place for him to go but the orphanage.

Brett spent three years in the orphanage.  In his country, after a child's third birthday, if they remain an orphan, they are to be sent to an older child orphanage, or to a mental institution.  Brett drew the short straw.  He was sent to a mental institution.  From what we know, it is a very rural one, probably lacking in resources, most definitely unseen by many outside eyes.

That is where he was when this picture was taken for his adoptable child profile - the picture that sat on Reece's Rainbow for years.

That is the picture I saw a year and a half ago... and fell in love with.  I could just see those little arms reaching up for a hug.

But years passed.  Birthdays passed.  We finally got an updated photo... one that is not horrifying as some we have seen, but that made me sad all the same, to know that the sweet little boy in the photo had to do all that growing up without a mommy or a daddy.  This is Brett today.

And on August 23, 2013, he will be twelve years old.

But there won't be cake or candles.  There won't be assorted gift wrapped packages.  There won't be a mommy to pack up a birthday in a bag and bring it to the institution where Brett currently resides.

It will just be another day.  Another orphan who is another year older.  No one to care.

Even in a hospital bed, in tremendous pain, I had a better birthday than Brett has ever had.

Let that sink in for a minute.

Imagine, as a child, spending your birthday with no cake, no presents... not even someone who loved you.

It's not fair.

And there's only one way to change it.

Mommy, Daddy, this little boy is crying out for your love and attention.  Please don't look the other way.  Don't be afraid because Brett is 'older'.  He is mentally still a small child.  He is friendly.  It is said by those who have met him that he is not aggressive and would likely do very well in a family.

He just needs to be given a chance.

If I could adopt him myself, I'd have done it already.  By the rules of both my country and his, I am too young.

For those of us who know we cannot personally adopt him, we at least could offer Brett a birthday present... maybe a little donation to his Reece's Rainbow FSP, to help the family that does step up to adopt him?  That can be done here.

But this is not the case for all of you.  Some of you have the power to rescue Brett.  The requirements to adopt from his country are very do-able, as international adoptions go:

• 2 trips, 5 days each
• Approx cost only $19-25k!  (depends on how many people travel, time of year for travel, etc)
• NO UPPER AGE LIMIT
• Single mothers may apply
• Easy dossier, very few restrictions
• Only one parent has to travel

CANADIAN FAMILIES WELCOME!

Please, won't you help me make sure he never has to spend another birthday in that stark, cold institution?

Remember... EVERYONE can do SOMETHING.

Pray... Share... Advocate... Give... Adopt... SAVE A LIFE.

Nobody's Child

I wish I could command inspiration to strike me when I needed it, but I can't.

I wish I could conjure up the most eloquent blog post ever right now, but I can't.

I'm actually pretty preoccupied by my health tonight, and I didn't really want to write a blog post.

But then it occurred to me.

While I sit in my warm bed in my warm house, not wanting to type on my laptop...

...a little boy sits, and maybe he's cold, having nothing that's really his own... not wanting to be an orphan.

And I owe it to him to write this post.

Around a year and a half ago, for some reason and without ever intending to, I fell in love with this little boy.

Back then, he looked more like this:

I don't know what it was about him.  Maybe his picture.  Maybe his story.  But I think, mostly God.

That little boy is Brett, and he lives in a mental institution in Eastern Europe, because he was abandoned at birth because he has down syndrome.

And when I say abandoned at birth... I mean it quite literally.  Most of the children in orphanages or institutions were born in hospitals or at home and surrendered from there directly to the orphanage.  Not Brett.  Immediately after giving birth, Brett's birth mother left him to lie in a field.  He became hypothermic and unresponsive, went into shock.  When a stranger came upon him and took him to the hospital, he was covered in bug bites.

Brett very nearly didn't make it through his first day on this earth.  If that stranger hadn't come upon him, for whatever reason, by whatever twist of fate... he would have died, a nameless baby who belonged to no one.

But that didn't happen.  He was saved.  Saved... and then taken to a hospital... and then to an orphanage.  At three years old, he was transferred from the orphanage to an adult mental institution.  Adult.  Three years old.

Saved... but for what kind of life?

This is the question I ask myself every day - and it can only have one answer.  Brett's story isn't over - not yet.  He was saved that day, on August 23, 2001 (yes, I have his birthday memorized), for something greater than the life he's living now... and all he needs to get there... is you.

You.

Yes, YOU.

If you've been waiting for a sign, this is it.  Brett needs YOU.

He's eleven years old now, still waiting in that mental institution, legally free and available for adoption and listed with Reece's Ranbow with a grant over $2,500 to aid with his adoption.  I can personally promise to help raise the rest of the money required for the family who adopts him.  His country is really a great one to adopt from - easy travel, inexpensive, very stable program, Hague country, I've heard nothing but good about the facilitators and agency staff.

What are you waiting for?

Recently, one of the adoption facilitators traveled to Brett's institution.  The report came back that he has some nonverbal communication skills, is extremely flexible (typical for kids with DS), and would likely do very well in a family and is not aggressive (something that has been seen in many institutionalized children).  Brett also has alopecia, which is why he lost his hair.  No big deal.  I shaved mine for him on New Year's this year!  There are all sorts of fun things to do with a bald head.  And this little detail of his appearance... should absolutely NOT be what stops him from having the family he deserves.  From my own limited experience with institutionalized children, I suspect he would be a wonderful and loving son.  Others with more experience seem to concur.  More pictures and videos of Brett are available from the agency.

There are two possible outcomes for Brett.  Only two.  He doesn't have the limitless opportunities we have in this country.

The first one, the one I want for him, is a happy ending.  A family.  A mom and dad, or maybe just a mom, to say YES to Brett... where others have said no.

Lately, there have been a string of older boys (the most at-risk group of orphans) appearing on the My Family Found Me page at Reece's Rainbow.  And every time a new one shows up, I rejoice for him, but my heart says, "Why not Brett?"  Fifteen year olds, aging out in a matter of days, have had the adoption community rally around them and been adopted just in time.  Teenagers, on the cusp of being fully grown adults.  By comparison, Brett isn't 'older'.  He's eleven.  I remember eleven.  We traded pokemon cards, danced to music, played dress up in our parents' clothes, loved board games, had sleepovers.  Brett is still a child.  And he has Down Syndrome.  His developmental 'age' is likely much lower.  He's just a little boy... in the body of an eleven year old.  So I ask again... Why not Brett?  Why, never Brett?  Why is he not one that people rally behind?  Because he doesn't come from the 'right' institution?  Because no adopting families have met him?  None of these things are his fault!  No more obstacles than have been overcome in previous cases.  

He's just another little boy, locked away in a place he doesn't belong... probably very rural, from what we know, which is likely to increase his hardship, especially during the winter.  Heat and food can be hard to come by in rural areas without reliable routes of transportation for all seasons... so while you're celebrating Christmas, instead of celebrating with you, eyes lighting up brighter than the Christmas tree, he's probably cold, and hungry.

'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.'   ...whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

If Christ our Lord was sitting in that institution... would you not save him?  

But He is.

He is in every one of us... especially the least of these.

Which group are you in?  Those who do, or those who don't?

Because, the second possible outcome of Brett's life is unimaginable.  I don't need a long paragraph to describe it.  He will spend the rest of his life in a mental institution with sub-par care, until one day, he dies there.  He will rock, chew his hands, bite his tongue, stare at blank walls, shiver, maybe starve... and then he will die.  He'll be buried in an unmarked grave, or maybe a grave marked only with a wooden stick and a number.  Again, nameless, and again, belonging to nobody... the same way he started out.

That is not the life he was saved for.  I refuse to believe it.  That can't be his future.  Not after all the obstacles he's overcome already.  Brett is a fighter - in a good way, of course - but there's only so much he can do for himself in his position.  Right now, he needs you... to help him fight... to get him out... to save him from fading away as alone as he started out.


They say that a picture is worth a thousand words, so let me allow the pictures to illustrate the stark contrast between these two futures.

Here's the one he can have if you say YES to him.

And here's the one he'll have if you turn away.

I've been pleading for Brett since the day I saw his picture.  Like the day the stranger came upon him in that field, I believe it was fate that I saw him.  But I can't adopt him.  I'm too young for his country's requirements and I always will be.  The law requires parent and child to be at least 15 years apart in age.  I've posted his picture everywhere.  I've written countless blog posts for him.  I've done fundraisers for him.  I shaved my head for one of them!  Since that day a year and a half ago, his grant has grown by over $2,500 (although certainly not by my own hand).  But I can't save him.  Not alone.

I'm a realistic person.  I know not everyone can or should adopt... but I also know that people do, every day... and sometimes they choose older boys, just like Brett.  Why not him?  And if you're in that group, like me, who couldn't adopt him no matter how hard they tried, that doesn't mean you can't do anything!  Brett needs two things.  He needs money in his Reece's Rainbow account, to help the family who commits to him. You can donate to him here.  But more than anything, he needs to be seen.  So I beg you to share this blog post... far and wide.  If you never do anything I ask again, please, please do this.  Just this would be enough. And if not for me... do it for the abandoned little boy in the field, cold and alone and covered in bug bites.  Or do it for God.  Just do it... please.  This is our chance to get Brett seen... before it becomes an aging out emergency.

Donate.  Share.  Pray.  Adopt.

Be one of those who gives to the least of these... not one of those who turns away.

Please.  I'm begging you.  Don't turn away.  Don't let him stay the way he is right now... nobody's child.

Other blog posts about Brett:

• http://callmecrazycbus.blogspot.com/search/label/Brett
• http://crazy-arewethereyet.blogspot.com/search/label/Brett

Inquire about Brett at www.reecesrainbow.org.  

We Did It!

Elden and Brett have both reached their goals!  WE DID IT!  Elden is at $1,000 and Brett is holding steady at $1,607.50, which means my boys have a total of $2,607.50!  Yay!

I'll be balded soon - as soon as my dear friend shaves me, and then there'll be video and fun 'after' pictures!

As for tonight - I let my mom give me bangs and straighten my hair just for fun... I'm going to try out various eyebrows throughout the night, so I'll post again later or in the morning with a collection of eyebrow arrangements - four more for each $100 past $600 raised for Elden!  For now, here's me with bangs!  I like them!

Another post with my crazy brows will be up soon!  Thanks to everyone who has has helped us get to this point!  Now let's get the rest of those babes over the wall on Angel Tree!

Heartbreak

There is no other word to describe how I feel right now.

Heartbreak.

I'm sitting here sobbing as I write this, for the little boy who I could not love more if he were my own flesh and blood.

I know you all remember Brett - one of the boys I've been screaming for for months.  Maybe you can even call his face to mind, remember the one picture I've posted of him, the only picture I ever had... this one.

Maybe you remember his story... born in the open country and abandoned in a field by his mother, before he was found and taken to the hospital... and from there to the orphanage.  Other than that we had so very little information about him.  No one had been to his institution.  No one had met him.  He was hidden away... precious buried treasure.


Today, this picture was posted to his profile with an update.  Someone has seen him, met him, been to where he is, heard his story, and taken new photos and video of him.

This is Brett today.

My boy.  My sweet boy!  Oh, how my heart absolutely breaks, to see what years of institutionalization have done to him.

Yes, he's still beautiful.  Precious.  I want to take his little hand in mine.  I want to fold him into a big hug, the kind mommies and aunts and families give.

What we knew before about his history was sad.  What we know now is absolutely heartwrenching.  There are just no words.  Read his new description from Reece's Rainbow:

"Brett was born premature at home and taken to an open field, where he was abandoned. He was there for 6 hours before being rescued and taken to a local hospital, where he was treated for shock, hypothermia, bug bites all over his body and difficulty breathing. Once released from the hospital, he was placed in an orphanage and later transferred to a mental institution, where he lives today.  From a physical standpoint, he suffered several bouts of bronchitis and other sicknesses as a young child. He does have alopecia (hair loss), but does not have any other health problems at this time. Based on one of the video clips, it appears that Brett is able to pop his hip out of socket, as his can turn his leg at an unnatural angle.   He can walk and move freely around in his environment. 

Brett suffers from many delays as a result of spending over 10 years in an institutionalized setting.   He walks, plays with toys, communicates using gestures and interact with adults at will. He is NOT aggressive.   The staff cares for all his basic needs and he is not receiving any academic instruction or any noted therapies at this time. 

Several photos and videos of Brett from December 2012 are available."

Poor sweet boy!  He was freezing, struggling for survival, covered in bug bites!  He was left, all alone, defenseless, and even when he was 'rescued', he only had spending the rest of his life in an institution to look forward to!  Oh, sweet boy, how you deserve to know the love of a family.

And now... now he's not even in an orphanage.  He's in a mental institution.  For adults.  If the orphanages in Eastern Europe are bad, the mental institutions are filled with untold horror.  Mogilino, the place featured in Bulgaria's Abandoned Children was a mental institution.  The place my friend's sweet, loving, beautiful 8 year old son came from, where he regressed from the skills he learned in the orphanage and boarding school, was a mental institution.  The place the men lived, young and old, with nothing but the clothes on their backs - not even an old TV to watch in a day room.

Brett DOES NOT BELONG in a mental institution.  He needs out. 

I'm begging for him.  Please, someone.  Take a leap of faith and say yes to Brett.  His country is a wonderful one to adopt from.  Easy travel, no upper age limit for parents, single moms are allowed, large families are welcome, relatively relaxed requirements, a well established adoption protocol (it is a Hague country)... and the costs for adopting from his country are relatively modest - and he already has $1,700 in his Reece's Rainbow grant!  In addition, I promise that whomever commits to him will have the full support of myself and a few other advocates - and when I say that, I mean I will move mountains.  If you think I'm crazy for shaving for Angel Tree, just wait until you see what I'd do to get this boy home.  I'll move across the country and be your live in nanny, for free.  I'll travel with you if you want.  I'll put on fundraiser after fundraiser after fundraiser to get you funded.  Seriously.  I love this boy.  I would go get him myself if I could.

In the past people have shied away from older boys like him because they are afraid they will be aggressive or have behaviors that are 'too difficult' to deal with.  From the new description, we know that Brett is NOT aggressive and it sounds like he would do absolutely wonderful in a family.  Some therapy, lots of love, and I can see him being the kind of amazing blessing my friend's son, who was adopted this year at 8 years old, is today (and he's only been home for four months!)

Look at him again.  Are you looking at your son?

Please see his full profile and inquire here at Reece's Rainbow.

Alopecia (and Angel Tree Kickoff Announcement)

So, for those of you who don't know, each year, Reece's Rainbow does a fundraiser in the months of November and December to raise money for waiting children.  Normally, only children with down syndrome from ages 0-5 are listed on the Angel Tree, but this year we had the unique opportunity to vote for one child from each category, and the top two, plus one chosen by a drawing winner, would also be on Angel Tree.  This is how we got Brett on the angel tree (after about a week of me yelling!) even though he's eleven years old.

But sweet Brett already has a dedicated and loving prayer warrior, who volunteered to be his Christmas warrior as well.  Christmas warriors are responsible for fundraising for a specific child through these two months, the goal being to raise $1,000 or more for each child.  For a $35 donation, you can get an Angel Tree ornament for that child.  Since this is my first year doing Angel Tree, I know little about what all this entails, but I'm jumping in with both feet.  In addition to helping Brett's Christmas Warrior, I also became a warrior myself for the little boy on the left-hand side of my blog - Elden 14G.  Below his picture and my super fab 'I'm a Christmas Warrior' button, there's a button that keeps tabs on his grant and how much was raised during Angel Tree.  So far, thanks to someone who is yet unnamed, Elden already has $27 in his account!   Anyone can donate, you can choose to get an ornament, gift an ornament, or just straight donate.  My Elden is almost five, so this will be his last year on the angel tree, most likely, and he will likely soon be transferred from a baby house to an adult mental institution.  We cannot let this happen.  Let's put the funds there so Elden's family can find him and get to him right away!

So... you may be looking at the title now and wondering what on earth alopecia has to do with any of this, or maybe, what it even is.  Well, both Brett and Elden have alopecia, which is relatively common in children with down syndrome, and causes premature hair loss.  You can read more about it here.  And as much as we, in our society, try to embrace baldness at any age, any gender, anyone who has been bald can attest to the fact that sometimes you still get funny looks in the supermarket, questions at the movie theater.  Children face these challenges even worse, and a child with down syndrome, already 'easy prey' for bullies, is likely to incur only more taunting if he or she is affected by alopecia.  In addition, many of our sweet children, even girls, who ate transferred to institutions are shaved bald to decrease upkeep and spread of infestations like lice.  Children like...

Joy, a 15-year-old girl

Julia, an eight year old girl

Katrina, who will turn 11 during Angel Tree

Are you, like me, screaming "UNFAIR!" with every fiber of your being?  Sick of the stereotypes, the bullying, the staring?  Are you, like me, rooting for each and every one of these kids to meet or exceed their $1,000 Angel Tree goal?

Among many fundraisers I have planned for Elden and am helping plan for Brett, I've decided to go wild and crazy.  Anybody see where I'm going with this yet?

Yep.  That's right.  I'm gonna shave my head.

Yep.  That head.  In the winter, in Ohio.

Here are some things I have learned.  People look very interesting without eyebrows.  So, I am offering up my public humiliation for these boys.  Once $1,000 has been raised between Brett and Elden, I will shave off ONE eyebrow.  Haha, imagine the heads that's going to turn in the supermarket!  But guess what?  I don't care!  If our kids have to deal with this degradation, going bald against their will, I can certainly lop off some hair of my own volition to encourage donations - I mean, come on, don't you all want to see my public humiliation?  I do!  In addition, I promise to video tape the actual shaving and post it here on this blog.  There MAY be a few public humiliation segments offered as incentives along the way... haven't decided yet.  It'll depend on what kind of reactions I can get on video.

At $1,500 (total, between both boys), the other eyebrow comes off.  Perhaps by then you will be tired of seeing me with one eyebrow and WANT to at least even things out?  Please?  ;)

And finally... when both boys meet their goals, $1,000 or more in each of their grant accounts, ALL the curly hair is coming off.  This also will be videotaped for all to see, before and after pictures, you name it, if it's for my boys, I'll do it.  I have the rest of my life for it to grow back.  These boys can't wait the rest of their lives for their Forever Families.

So there it is.  There will be auctions, giveaways, maybe even a carnival if I can swing it, in addition to the ornament sales for the boys, but on top of that, you get to see me go bald and beautiful.  So, if you're wondering who to donate to, whose ornament to buy, how best to help, I just ask you to turn your attention to my sweet boys... because, honestly, eyebrows are annoying anyways, and hair this curly is just a wreck to keep up.

Elden 14G:  http://reecesrainbow.org/13177/elden-14g

Brett #19:  http://reecesrainbow.org/1146/brett-b-396
(Right now Brett has had $0 donations since Angel Tree began this morning - we need somebody to zero his zero!)

Angel Tree Page (has all the children listed, where you can get their ornaments):  http://reecesrainbow.org/1146/brett-b-396

Could you please, find it in your heart to give anything, just a little something, to one or both of these boys?  Seriously, c'mon guys... all I want for Christmas is a bald head!  ;)